#502 Let me do this my way
When you realize nobody truly knows what they’re doing
Doesn’t that give you the freedom to say
Let me do this my way?
When you realize nobody truly knows what they’re doing
Doesn’t that give you the freedom to say
Let me do this my way?
My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.
As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.
My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).
But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.
Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?
A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.
In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.
I don’t care much for indifference.
But dismissal… that’s something else.
The more I dismiss something, the more curious I get.
Does it contradict my values?
Am I afraid?
Or am I pushing away something I secretly want?
I don’t know what it is about dismissal, my friend.
But I do know that the stronger the feelings, the more interesting it gets.
Do you believe you’re good at something solely because of talent, invalidating all the work you’re putting in?
Or do you believe you can change the course of your life, and let your daily actions shape who you are?
The American psychologist and author of the book “Mindset” Carol Dweck describes how the way you think about your abilities can make or break your success in life:
When things get tough, people with an entity mindset often give up, because they don’t truly believe they can get much better.
After all,I if you believe it’s all about innate ability, then why make any effort to develop strengths or weaknesses?
An entity mindset also leads to fear of failure and perfectionism. If you’re believed to have an innate, fixed talent that’s set in stone, you’ll constantly need to live up to an unreasonably high standard for that particular talent.
People with an incremental mindset, on the other hand, thrive in tough situations: they know that through perseverance and a focus on daily practice and perseverance they can develop their skills and talents.
Even if predisposition plays an important role, switching to an incremental mindset will always make you feel better about yourself and your daily actions.
And while education and childhood experiences have a large impact on your mindset – you can always change your mind – by changing your actions.
If doing your Tiny Trust Builder feels impossible today, it’s not tiny enough.
Write one paragraph, not one blog post.
Write one sentence, not one paragraph.
Write one word, not one sentence.
Write one letter, not one word.
Write whatever feels achievable to you, until you arrive at something you can do every day.
Think smaller, until you notice the insurmountable suddenly feels achievable.
I couldn’t imagine finding time for 3 pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling a day – until I started writing them. 700 days later, I haven’t missed a day.
I couldn’t imagine finding time or energy to publish a daily blog post – until I started publishing them. 70 days later, I haven’t missed a day.
I couldn’t imagine finding time or willpower for 5 yoga sessions a week – until I started doing them. 2 years later, I can’t imagine not doing them anymore.
Sometimes it’s hard to see how you could have time or energy for something before you just start doing it. Then it becomes the new normal.
It’s your mind playing tricks on you.
Start doing (and start small). Keep doing. Then start believing.
Come what may, you will be okay.
You can trust yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Then go on with your day.