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    #106 Pick your freedom battles

    Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

    They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

    To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

    To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

    To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

    To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

    Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

    Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

    Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

    Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Pick your freedom battles.

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    #68 The sitcom comparison

    Watching a sitcom or soap opera episode takes 20 minutes – and somehow, we always seem to find time for it.

    Doing some stretches or a quick workout can take as little as 15 minutes – yet somehow, it’s very hard to find time for it.

    Many good habits take take less time than watching a sitcom – and during and after, they’re often quite enjoyable. But our mind makes it so hard to start.

    Whenever something that’s good for you feels insurmountable and your mind starts playing tricks on you, put it into perspective.

    Doing this thing will take less time than watching a sitcom.

    Maybe I could even do it while watching the sitcom.

    And doing it will be a vote for the person I want to become.

  • #348 5 dead-simple steps to start writing

    5 dead-simple steps to start writing – even if you’ve tried everything:

    1. Set aside dedicated time tomorrow morning. From now on, this is your dedicated time every day.
    2. Start with a Tiny Trust Builder; something that makes it easy for you to show up consistently. Write for one minute. Write one sentence. Write one word. If it feels hard to do every day, think smaller.
    3. First build the habit, then build skill. Right now, you’re building a daily writing habit, not a “daily masterpiece” habit. That comes later.
    4. If step 3 feels hard: write something bad on purpose.
    5. If step 4 feels hard and you don’t feel motivated to write: write anyway. You don’t need motivation to write. You’re a writer. So you write.

    Good luck!

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    #138 Part-time ambition

    Nobody says you have to be a workaholic to be ambitious.

    Because ambition means nothing more than having a strong desire to succeed.

    You can desire to succeed in getting a promotion, or writing a bestselling book.

    Or you can desire to succeed in working only part-time, and spend the rest of the time with your family.

    You’re free to decide for yourself what to be ambitious about.

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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