#510 Just one more step.

Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend.

Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question.

But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have.

Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days, I’ve been writing you a short note every day to remind you to make intelligent decisions about your life and who you want to be.

But as so often with us humans, the honest answer is more self-centered: I write you a short note every day to remind myself to make intelligent decisions about my life and who I want to be.

The fact that some insights are helpful to you is a nice bonus. But I would also write them if you have yet to read a single one of these insights.

Because to me, writing every day is a rallying cry for myself in an invisible battle that nobody might ever see – because it only exists in my head.

A battle against frustration, giving up, limiting beliefs, and a cage of social conditioning from which it’s hard to break free.

A battle to become who I’ve always wanted to be.

Yes, every note I write to you, my friend, is outward proof of a tiny inner victory, taking tiny steps towards more self-trust and fulfillment.

You may tell me I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, especially not myself.

And you may be right.

But I also know that we all have our battles to fight.

Battles about what we believe we deserve or not.

What we think we can do or not.

What we believe is possible for us or not.

What we desire.

Who we can be.

So while you might not be asking yourself why I write you something every day, I am asking myself which battles you are fighting.

I am looking for outward proof of your inner victories.

Whatever they are, when you shine a light on your invisible battles, I’ll be here to cheer you on.

In a podcast segment about practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu,Tim Ferris and Joshua Waitzkin discuss a principle for managing expectations they call:

“The first rep doesn’t count.”

Tim Ferris, Josh Waitzkin: https://tim.blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/148-josh-waitzkin.pdf

In other words: when performing a move for the first time, your body and mind need to get used to it. Gradually,you’ll get better – and the more aware you are of your body, the faster you’ll make progress – but judging someone on their first attempt doesn’t say much about their future potential.

This holds true for many skills in life, like starting a daily publishing habit.

Publishing a post or a video for the first time always feels funny (and often frightening). At this stage, judgment or feedback is futile. It’s all about jumping the hurdle of getting started

Publish five times, you’re ready to get some feedback (both from yourself and from others)…

Publish for the fiftieth time, and you’re well on your way to turn it into a habit… and fly.

So whenever I start something new, I manage my expectations by repeating to myself:

The first time feels funny. The fiftieth time I fly.

And for bonus points: What would it feel like the 500th time?