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    #205 Why “kind of” doesn’t work

    You kind of want to run a marathon.

    You kind of want to eat better.

    You kind of want to move more.

    You kind of want to feel better.

    And everything kind of stays the same.


    Only when “kind of” becomes “absolutely” and “want to” becomes “choose to” change happens.

    I absolutely choose to write.

    I absolutely choose to run a marathon.

    I absolutely choose to eat better.

    I absolutely choose to move more.

    I absolutely choose to do whatever it takes to feel better.

    Because there is no other way.

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    #25 Pre-emptive disqualification

    In the series of self-sabotaging behavior I’ve observed in myself and others: “pre-emptively disqualifying yourself”.

    Before you even start, you’re depriving yourself already of any potential benefit of the exercise because you don’t know if you’ll get the EXACT benefit promised/desired by you.

    “This exercise might have cured your neck pain, but I’ve always had neck problems, it won’t chage anything.”

    “You might be able to write every day, but for me, in my situation, that would never be possible.”

    This shows a lack of understanding of learning principles. Because with any exercise, program, diet, methodology, you’ll never get the exact same results as someone else, because you can never replicate the exact circumstances and actions of a person.

    Instead, you do the exercise/program/diet/… within the framework of your own personal context/skills/past experience. Within that context, it will guide your learning process. But the outcome resulting from it is personal.

    Variance is to be expected, and this is a good thing. Because this is how innovation happens: actions in different types of circumstances lead to slightly different results. Sometime that leads to disappointment, sometimes to real breakthroughs.

    Getting different results, then, is not a reason to pre-emptively disqualify yourself, or to claim something doesn’t work. Because the true value doesn’t lie in getting the exact same results as someone else, but rather, to consciously set the general direction of our lives.

    Every day, we have to make so many decisions that lead us down different future paths, so modeling someone and using their actions as a guiding principle will greatly increase the probability of you going in the direction you desire, and getting results in the same ballpark.

    For example, I’ve been doing Dylan Werner’s yoga classes on Alo Moves (my go-to online yoga/fitness/meditation app) consistently for almost two years now. Even if I continue to follow his exact schedule for two more years, chances are, I still might not be able to do something like this:

    After all, we have a different body structure, different gene disposition, different circumstances, and I’ll have to adapt his schedule to my personal capacity.

    Still, if I follow his schedule I’ll definitely become much stronger and healthier than if I chose to model a couch potato, watch TV and eat fries and burgers all day. And that’s what it’s all about.

    Modeling, in that point of view, are an effective way to accelerate your progress and lead your life in the direction you want, without you having to know exactly which results you’ll get.

    In other words: when you let go of the need to predict exact future outcomes, you can stop pre-emptively disqualifying yourself, and start pro-actively setting the direction of your life.

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    #177 Doing, then believing

    I won’t believe I can publish a blog post every day – until I publish a blog post every day.

    I won’t believe I can run a marathon – until I run a marathon.

    I won’t believe I can speak a foreign language – until I speak a foreign language.

    I won’t believe I can work through trauma – until I work through trauma.


    You don’t have to believe something to start doing it.

    You do something to start believing it.

    Actions overrule thoughts.

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    #46 Feigned feelings

    feigned feelings lead to forced forging
    of a bond, brittle, easily broken

    but when i learn to listen
    to the winds whirling within
    stop seeing them as a sin

    when i hold them back no more
    forceful feelings finally roar
    revealing a hidden song
    sung secretly for so long

    my true self set free
    softly I breathe
    my melody into your mind
    feelings mingle, sometimes grind
    leaving the shyness far behind

    and hearing our songs entwined
    I am no longer blind
    to the insight
    that we’ve been singing the same song
    of a wordless world where we all belong

    at last I feel strong
    for we were always one
    blessed by a bond
    that can’t be undone

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #107 Making the same decisions over and over again

    First I decide to write every day.

    That one decision liberates me of the burden of a daily decision: should I write or not?

    After all, the decision has already been made, and now is not the time to negotiate.


    True freedom is freedom from the burden of making the same decisions over and over again.

    Because a decision turns into a constraint.

    A constraint turns into the freedom to do what matters.

    And when you do what matters, you become who you want to be.

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