#101 It’s all about the actions

ByLukas
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Achieving an outcome without the daily actions that lead to an identity shift is empty and unsustainable.

I may want to publish a book. But if someone writes the whole book without my input and I put my name on it in the end, do I deserve to call it my book?

I have a book. But I’m not a writer. And I’m not an author.

I may want to have a million dollars. But if tomorrow I win the lottery or receive a large inheritance without any action from my side, what does that mean?

I have a million dollars. But I’m not wealthy – and research suggests that without proper guidance, I’ll spend it all, ending up back at square one.

It works the other way around, too. You can blindly chase an outcome (or slip into bad habits) without considering how the actions you need to take to get there will change you as a person.

Depending on your actions to get there, chasing fame can make you happy – or very unhappy. Writing a book can make you happy or very unhappy. Building a hugely successful company can make you happy or very unhappy.

The value, satisfaction, and resentment are all in the actions, not the outcome.

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  • #345 Why being good isn’t relevant

    ByLukas

    People can think you’re not good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    You can think you’re not good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    You can think you’ll never be good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    Because whether you’re good at something or not is nowhere nearly as relevant as how fulfilled it makes you feel.

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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    ByLukas

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #60 Memory is context

    ByLukas

    Memory is context – in language and in general.

    Context of words surrounded by other words and sounds within a sentence.

    • apple orchard

    Context of words surrounded by actions – actor, action, object affected (in whatever way or order your mother tongue expresses it).

    • I pick an apple from the tree.

    Context of words and the images they spur.

    • An apple falls on Newton’ head.
    • An apple falls off a tree in my grandparents’ garden.
    • I bite into a green apple – a bit sour. I don’t like it.
    • The first time I combine an apple part with peanut butter. Delicious.

    Context of words and the feelings they evoke.

    • I’m thirsty and hungry after a volleyball game. The first bite of an apple – what a relief.
    • My grandpa cuts an apple and gives me a part. Safety. Home.
    • I eat 2 apples and my mouth starts itching. Allergy? Fear.

    When learning another language, you can link words to the context of your mother tongue.

    But to truly understand them, you’ll have to create a new context too.

    For example, an apple in Spanish: una manzana.

    Seemingly the same object, now perceived through new sounds.

    • huerto de manzanas (apple orchard)

    New actions.

    • Yo limpio una manzana. (I wash/clean an apple.)

    New images.

    • I see una manzana in a Mexican supermarket. Someone is polishing it with wax to make it extra shiny. The first time I saw was in Mexico. So I didn’t see the guy polishing an apple. Vi a un hombre encerando una manzana. (I saw a guy putting wax on an apple.)

    New feelings.

    • Compré una manzana (I bought an apple) and ate it without washing it well. My stomach wasn’t happy with my actions.

    Keeping all that in mind, are we really still talking about the same object? Is the Spanish manzana encerada that made me sick in Spanish the same as the apple my grandpa helped me pick? If it is, do I now have a richer perception of that object that once up on a time, I could only interact with through the limits of one language?

    Learning vocabulary lists with isolated words will never get you fluent in a foreign language.

    If you don’t build a new context of sounds, actions, images, feelings, you’ll always keep imposing your mother tongue on the foreign language.

    That’s why you can’t just learn a foreign language. You have to live it.

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    #241 Is this truly a catastrophe?

    ByLukas

    What am I scared of right now?

    What are the chances that that scenario will come true?

    What would happen if that scenario came true?

    And what would happen then?

    And then?

    And then?

    Is it really that bad?

    Do I have the resources to deal with it?

    Is this truly a catastrophe, or will I be fine either way?

    Keep asking*, “What would happen then?”.* Look past the initial fears and challenges. And more often than not, you’ll realize that this too shall pass.

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    #166 It’s not about goals, it’s about the questions they raise

    ByLukas

    “If successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers.”

    https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems

    It’s not about having goals. It’s about the follow-up questions goals raise.

    “Will pursuing this goal be good for me? Physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially?”

    “Is there any part of myself, my environment, and the people I care about that will suffer if I pursue this goal?”

    “Who will I have become when I have achieved this goal?”

    “Who do I need to be today to achieve this goal?”

    “Which actions can I take today that bring me closer to achieving a goal?”

    Repeated actions will overrule your thoughts. Repeated actions will change your identity. Better choose your goals and your actions intentionally.

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