#539 It doesn’t matter what I decide
Left? Right? Give up? Keep going? Turn back?
Maybe I’ll end up where I must end up, no matter what I decide.
Maybe the flow of life will show me where to go.
Left? Right? Give up? Keep going? Turn back?
Maybe I’ll end up where I must end up, no matter what I decide.
Maybe the flow of life will show me where to go.
Which conclusions did I draw from past experiences?
Have I overreacted to petty events, and ignored beautiful moments?
Have I deleted memories? Maybe invented some?
Have I built stories based on generalizations?
Most importantly: how does the past I still feel affect my actions today?
And if I know a lot of it was my own interpretation… could I change my past, or at least what it means to me?
Would that set me free?
I was undoubtedly in a pensive mood when writing this.
I guess, given the daily letters I send you, you might conclude I’m in a pensive mood every day.
And you wouldn’t be wrong.
But pensive moods can be useful – when they’re coupled with conclusions and insights. Maybe even with Tiny Trust Builders.
And if any of these questions help you re-interpret your past and set you free, too, I’ll be a happy man.
A wistful win-win.
You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.
You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.
You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.
Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.
Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.
But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.
So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.
And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.
Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.
feigned feelings lead to forced forging
of a bond, brittle, easily brokenbut when i learn to listen
to the winds whirling within
stop seeing them as a sinwhen i hold them back no more
forceful feelings finally roar
revealing a hidden song
sung secretly for so longmy true self set free
softly I breathe
my melody into your mind
feelings mingle, sometimes grind
leaving the shyness far behindand hearing our songs entwined
I am no longer blind
to the insight
that we’ve been singing the same song
of a wordless world where we all belongat last I feel strong
Lukas Van Vyve
for we were always one
blessed by a bond
that can’t be undone
I can choose to procrastinate on a project for weeks – then finish it all in one go, right before the deadline.
In absolute terms, I might have been very efficient with my time – but the time I saved, I spent frustrated with myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I’m a procrastinator.
What if I work a little bit on a project every single day – and have it finished well before the deadline?
I might spend more time in total – but every day, every moment spent makes me feel good about myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I cultivate an identity of discipline and consistency. I do what I believe to be good for me. I build character. Taking small daily actions towards a goal becomes part of my identity.
What’s more: I avoid the frustration and resentment that comes with procrastination (=not doing what I know I should be doing), and feel good about myself instead.
Long-term, the benefits of small daily actions always outweigh huge last-minute efforts.
Following rules just because they’re rules is silly.
Breaking rules just because you like breaking rules is equally silly.
Over the years, I’ve become quite skilled at letting present worries overshadow past triumphs.
But what would it be like to let past triumphs overshadow present worries?
And what would it be like to have present triumphs overshadow past worries?
Maybe you know better than me, my friend. Or maybe it’s something you’d like to practice too.
Here’s a journal prompt to get us started:
What’s a forgotten accomplishment from your past that once filled you with pride but has since slipped away from your thoughts?