Maybe you’ll succeed.
Or maybe you’re destined to fail at this, to prepare you for your next venture.
And if you’re destined to fail… is failing really a failure?
Or is it a success?
Who knows whether it’s true or not.
But it’s definitely reassuring.
Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
Taking it one step further:
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.
Acting on the first hunch is a powerful move.
After all, hunches have their basis in our subconscious insights and intuitive understanding.
While they may not always lead us to the expected outcome, they invariably lead us to swift action and learning.
Either you’re right and you saved time.
Or you’re wrong so you can course correct, still saving you time.
So drink on the first sign of thirst.
Write on the first sign of an insight.
Make your choice on the first sign of a preference.
If it turns out bad, learn and change.
That’s how you train your intuition – not by distrusting it, but by using and honing it.
You already know how to do this.
Change happens when you let go of defective perspectives about who you were, are, and could be.
What you used to do, are doing, and could do.
What’s possible for you, and what’s not.
Whatever your current perspective, it’s defective. Or at least incomplete.
Life is beautifully unpredictable. You are beautifully unpredictable.
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Come what may, you will be okay.
You can trust yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Then go on with your day.
My journey to overcoming self-doubt as a writer:
In short: write and publish to overcome the fear of writing and publishing. Yes, it can be as simple as that.
“Life made me who I am, and I can’t do anything about it.”
“While the past has shaped me, the way I choose to live my life today, tomorrow, and every day after, will determine who I am.”
You’re living anyway. Your actions are votes for an identity anyway. So you might as well do it intentionally.
