#126 Invisible ink tattooed on your mind

ByLukas
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Every promise to yourself is a contract in invisible ink.

Jo Franco on the Not Your Average Jo podcast. I recommend you listen to this episode

But it’s not because it’s hidden from view that it doesn’t carry any weight.

Every broken contract with yourself goes on the pile of self-distrust.

So don’t overextend. Don’t make promises to yourself that you can’t keep anyway.

Start with a tiny contract with yourself. Then stick to the terms.

Build trust every day through Tiny Trust Builders.

Remember that the contract is made, so now is not the time to negotiate.

Retrace the letters of that invisible contract every single day.

Then, one day, the invisible ink is tattooed on your mind, and you’ve forged an unbreakable bond between your words and actions.

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    #178 You don’t have to master this today

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    Performance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.

    I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.

    I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.

    I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.

    Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.

    You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.

    You don’t have to master this today.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

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    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #247 Seeking Simplicity

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    In the pursuit of our ambitions, we often create intricate plans, detailed routines, and exhaustive checklists.

    But when these complexities start to feel more like obstacles than aids, it might be time to strip things back.

    Where are you overcomplicating? Is it in the planning, the execution, or perhaps the goal itself?

    Seeking the simplest way is not always the easiest. But more often than not, it’s the most effective.

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