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  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.


    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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    #81 Am I willing?

    I can say I want to publish a new book.

    Double my income.

    Get in shape.

    Learn another language.

    But hidden beneath the surface of lofty goals are daily actions.

    Publishing a book… What does that really mean?

    Who is that person who has published the book? (Not just written… actually published?)

    What do they say to themselves?

    What do they think?

    What do they feel?

    What do they do every day? And what can I start doing every day to become more of that person who has written that book?

    Most importantly, am I willing to take those actions every day to reach whatever goal I’m after?

    Am I willing to change?

    If not, is that goal even important to me?

    Who do I choose to be?

  • #7 Persistence despite Resistance – Finding your True Purpose

    Does “true purpose” even exist?

    And if it does, how do we recognize it?

    Persistence despite Resistance may be a helpful indicator.

    Are you chasing your dreams because of what society wants you to do?

    Or are you chasing them in spite of what society wants you to do?

    Because even when social conditioning has molded your mind

    if the same desire or vision enters your head, time and again

    no matter how many others resist it

    no matter how much you resist it

    no matter how few people understand

    it might be time to embrace who you were always meant to be

    and do what you were always meant to do.

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    #138 Part-time ambition

    Nobody says you have to be a workaholic to be ambitious.

    Because ambition means nothing more than having a strong desire to succeed.

    You can desire to succeed in getting a promotion, or writing a bestselling book.

    Or you can desire to succeed in working only part-time, and spend the rest of the time with your family.

    You’re free to decide for yourself what to be ambitious about.

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