If only someone told you before
That no matter how loud the others shout
Nobody has it figured out
If only someone told you before
That the rules you use to govern your life
Aren’t set in stone?
If only someone told you before
That it’s totally okay
To find your own way
If only someone told you before…
Knowledge transfer always implies time collapse. Because learning an insight from someone else usually takes less long than figuring it out yourself.
Take books. The writer usually spent considerable time researching and distilling the topic and coming to good insights (time I might not be able to dedicate).
Thanks to that writer, I can now consume that knowledge in, say 6-12 hours of reading the book. A considerable time collapse…
But when does time collapse go to far?
Can I read a 1-page summary of that book and truly say I grasp the topic?
When your brain gets space to breathe, knowledge grows and nuance shows. It needs time and repeated exposure to absorb information, make connections, and discover new insights.
So a one-page summary isn’t necessarily too shallow… On the contrary: it collapses time so much that information becomes very dense.
What with the evolution towards short-form online content? The primary purpose of TikTok videos and Instagram reels might be to entertain, but the trend is clear and spills over into education, our attention span, and knowledge transfer: shorter, more shallow, yet more dense.
Too little time collapse and we can’t make progress.
Too much time collapse and knowledge collapses with it.
A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?
I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.
A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?
I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”
You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.
Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.
Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.
I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.
The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.
The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.
The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.
The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.
So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?
Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?
It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.
And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?
So I invite you to give it a try.
Right here, right now: who’s in charge?
Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.
Are you practicing writing? Or giving up writing?
Are you practicing persevering? Or giving up?
Are you practicing doing what you know is good for you? Or ignoring what you know is good for you?
You’re always practicing something. And what you practice, you’ll become good at. And what you practice will persist.
The outcome is not the book.
The outcome is not the marathon.
The outcome is not the successful business.
The outcome is not even the daily habit you form, even though they’re the stepping stones you need.
The outcome is the embodiment of the changes we’ve internalized, the growth we’ve experienced, and the evolution we’ve undergone, allowing us to say, “This is what I now stand for. This is what I believe is possible.”
The outcome is the identity.
Maybe it’s less about “What do I want to achieve?” and more about “What do I want to believe?”
It’s not about figuring out where you’d like to end up anymore – it’s about deciding where you must go.
Once you know that, there’s no stopping you anymore.
