Thinking about writing makes the writing harder.
Dreaming about writing makes the writing harder.
Planning my writing sessions makes the writing harder.
But writing… that makes the writing easier.
Because most things become easier when you actually do them instead of just think about them.
On the days when I feel like everything I write is bad, I choose to be a writer.
On the days when I feel like the most inspired writer, I choose to be a writer.
On the days when I need to skip a day because life gets in the way, I choose to be a writer.
On the days when I don’t feel like a writer, I choose to be a writer.
And especially on the days when I don’t write, I choose to be a writer by trusting that soon enough, I’ll write again.
I choose to be a writer, not through pressuring myself into hardliner habits but through my daily commitment to the general direction I want my life to take.
Focus on making the majority of your actions and decisions align with who you want to be.
When you do that, you’ll always bounce back.
One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
How will you interpret what happens today?
Win? Lose?
You get to choose.
There’s no need to get rid of excuses or resistance, because there’s no need to listen to the excuses and the resistance in the first place.
They only have power when you give them power.
And the less power you give them, the easier life becomes.
So make up the excuses, then move forward anyway..
Feel the resistance, then move forward anyway.
You don’t have to believe you can do, be or achieve something today.
But you must trust there’s always a tiny daily action, fairly easy to take, that goes against your disbelief.
A tiny daily trusty builder, repeated every day, that chips away at your skepticism and plants a seed of self-trust in your brain: “Maybe I CAN change”?
Then one day, you wake up and you believe: I can be whoever I choose to be.
I write every day until I’m a writer.
I paint every day until I’m a painter.
I practice the guitar every day until I’m a guitar player.
I love my family every day until I become a family person.
I prove to myself that I can take one daily action aligned with who I want to be.
And before I know it, the practice becomes the identity.
