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    #179 Intellectual understanding vs Internalized knowledge

    Intellectually understanding that the perfect speech includes a strong opening, humor, a dramatic demonstration, rhetorical elements, and emotional appeal doesn’t mean your next speech will contain those elements right away – and that’s okay.

    You don’t have to master this today.

    Intellectually understanding the nuances and body positioning of a yoga pose doesn’t mean the next time you stand in that pose, you’ll perform it perfectly right away – and that’s okay.

    You don’t have to master this today.

    Intellectually understanding verbs, tenses, or case systems in a foreign language doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use them correctly in conversations right away – and that’s okay.

    You don’t have to master this today.

    Turning intellectual understanding into internalized knowledge and skill is a slow, layered process:

    1. Intellectually understand which things to do differently from before.
    2. Mindfully become aware of the moment when you need to do things differently.
    3. Do things differently from before.
    4. Repeat every day.
  • #9 Striking gold

    I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

    And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

    Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

    And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
    I write, re-write
    and never am I satisfied.

    I get closer, or so I think
    And then the next day, I jump back in
    and instantly sink.

    I need answers…
    Even though deep down I know,
    the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

    Yet, I have to try.

    Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

    Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

    In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

    How? I don’t know.

    When? I don’t know.

    Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

    Anyway.

    Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
    I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
    and write in peace.

  • #439 Resolve can bring you far

    I can’t predict what will happen tomorrow – or even today.

    But I do know that today, I resolve to write.

    And tomorrow I resolve to write once again.

    And that resolve has brought me to 439 consecutive days of writing.

    439 days of writing, despite living in an unpredictable world.

    439 days of realizing most obstacles are excuses.

    439 days of proving that resolve can bring you pretty far.

  • #2 Why I write

    If writing and creating every day were as vital to my survival as drinking water, ingesting food, and bonding… What would life look like?

    Biologically, all behavior is driven by pain, pleasure, and the triggers and habits that come from repeated reaction to those stimuli.

    So I eat because I want to escape the pain of hunger – or heartbreak, sadness, and frustration.

    I connect with others because I’m neurologically hardwired to feel pleasure when bonding… and pain and deprivation when I’m abandoned.

    Similarly, I write because I want to escape the frustration of not being able to put into words an insight.

    I also write because I enjoy the rush resulting from finding the words that convey what I want to say.

    I write because I love the tingling in my back and neck when I combine those words into sentences with just the right rhythm, just the right cadence capturing the meaning, context, emotion of what I want to say…

    I write because writing wrests the essence from the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions racing through my mind and body.

    I write because when when I write, I feel that at last, I can make sense of life.

    And the more meaning I find, the more likely I am to write.

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