#556 How to know what not to do
Does it make you feel good right now?
Will you feel good about it in an hour?
Will you feel good about it in a year?
Does it make you feel good right now?
Will you feel good about it in an hour?
Will you feel good about it in a year?
First, you write. Then you become a writer.
First, you run. Then you become a runner.
First, you set boundaries. Then you become good at setting boundaries.
But before all that comes the decision to write. To run. To set boundaries.
Because you’re dissatisfied with the past and say never again.
Because you’re filled with excitement about a future vision.
Because you know you’re ready to make the change.
You’ll know when it’s time, my friend.
Question yourself hard before you commit to something new.
Once you’ve committed, stop questioning yourself.
The decision has already been made. Now is not the time to negotiate.
When you write every day, you’ll start believing you can write every day.
When you run every day, you’ll start believing you can run every day.
Therefore, you don’t need to believe in your capabilities before taking action.
First, you act. Then your beliefs react.
The trick to building discipline: stick to your projects more often than you quit, so your actions start overruling self-defeating thoughts.
So how make sure you stick to more of your projects and habits
Make them feasible. Start small.
Write a couple of sentences in your journal every day.
Write short articles.
Walk for 5 minutes.
Do 2 minutes of breathing exercises.
In the long run, you’ll probably have to build up volume and intensity. But first, start small. Build trust of completion. Become disciplined.
“I can only do that when…”
Remove the “only” and the when”.
I can do that.
And so can you.
We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.
If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.
If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.
If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.
If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.
If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.
Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.
Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.
Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?