#270 How to gain trust, acceptance, and comfort

ByLukas
|

It’s hard not to trust someone who fully trusts themselves.

But it’s hard not to accept someone who fully accepts themselves.

It’s hard not to be at ease around someone fully at ease with themselves.

In other words: if you want others to trust, accept, and be at ease with you, first learn to trust, accept, and be at ease with yourself.

You don’t need anyone else for that – just some tiny daily actions that prove that trust, acceptance, and comfort to yourself.

Oh, and you could start with that today.

You don’t have to.

But you could. And if you could, why wouldn’t you?

Similar Posts

  • |

    #93 Second-Hand Memories and Trust Issues

    ByLukas

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from learn life experience. And to do so, it relies, modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    What about second-hand memories? Accounts of past events we didn’t experience ourselves, wars, volcano eruptions, scientific discoveries,…

    For knowledge to accumulate, to stand on the shoulders of giants, we need to transmit such lessons too. Not just as data or accounts of the past – also as memories.

    But transmitting second-hand memories require trust.

    Can we rely on the interpretation of others?

    Who do we allow to control the narrative?

    Parents? Elders? Teachers? Governments and politicians?

    YouTubers? Influencers? Bloggers? Twitter gurus?

    AI models and chatbots?

    Objective data doesn’t exist. Objective memories don’t exist either. So if we can’t trust second-hand memories anymore, collective memory and our whole learning model collapses.

  • #291 Beliefs follow actions

    ByLukas

    When you write every day, you believe you can write every day.

    When you don’t write every day, you believe you can’t every day.

    And so it goes for running, working out, eating healthy, playing the guitar, or anything else you’re frustrated or satisfied with.

    Beliefs follow actions.

    Actions confirm beliefs.

    So follow your actions to uncover your beliefs.

    Then change your actions to change your beliefs.

  • | |

    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    ByLukas

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

  • |

    #288 The one constraint that makes everything better

    ByLukas

    What’s the one Tiny Trust Builder you can do for yourself; one little thing thing that makes you feel good about yourself, and because you feel good, you’re good to other around you too?

    What’s that one small constraint YOU decide to put on your day that, when protected fiercely, makes everything else so much better?

    And if you know it makes everything better and you aren’t protecting it fiercely yet – why not?

    Could you start today?

  • |

    #165 Writing doesn’t mean writing

    ByLukas

    When I write, I’m meditating.

    When I meditate, I’m writing.

    When I run, I’m meditating.

    When I meditate, I’m running.

    When I play the guitar, I’m meditating.

    When I meditate, I’m playing the guitar.

    When I meditate, I’m writing.

    When I write, I’m running.

    When I run, I’m playing the guitar.

    And no matter what I do, I’m always living.

    Life experience always carries over.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *