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    #97 Not loneliness. Solitude.

    All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

    Blaise Pascal, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19682-all-of-humanity-s-problems-stem-from-man-s-inability-to-sit

    We often equate sitting quietly in a room alone with loneliness: a word with a negative emotional charge.

    But sitting quietly in a room can also bring solitude: the simple state of being by yourself, without any negative connotation.

    Solitude can give relief of the pressure to be constantly “socializing” (through social media apps or in real life).

    Relief of the pressure to socialize can make space.

    Space you can use to hear the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your body.

    Thoughts and feelings that can tell you what’s truly important to you.

    And then you realize that what’s truly important to you is nothing new.

    It’s something you already knew, before you learned not to listen.

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    #195 Scarcity vs Destiny

    I go to the gym, play volleyball, run, and land on yoga.

    I speak, film, consult, and land on writing.

    I sing, dance, drum, and land on playing the guitar.


    When you’ve only ever seen one path for yourself all your life, it’s scarcity.

    When you’ve opened your eyes, explored life, and consciously decided to take the path that aligns the most with who you want to be…

    It’s destiny.

    Explore.

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    #169 The things you never need to be good at

    There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence when you’re passionate about something.

    But being passionate doesn’t come with an obligation to be – or even try to become – good.

    It’s fine to write for the sake of writing, not to write a bestseller novel.
    Paint for the sake of painting, not to be the next Picasso.
    Run for the sake of running, not to finish a marathon.

    I don’t need to be good at this today.

    And some things I just never need to be good at.

    You always have a choice.

  • #244 What am I meant to do today

    “What am I meant to do?” I often wonder.

    You may have the same question on your mind.

    Or maybe you don’t think about it at all, my friend. And perhaps that’s the better choice.

    The search for purpose may not be about finding that one grand mission.

    Maybe it’s about creating tiny ripples of influence right where we are with what we have.

    Maybe the right question is, “What am I meant to do today?”

    That way, we make each day matter in ways big and small.

    Because these are the days we live anyway.

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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