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    #270 How to gain trust, acceptance, and comfort

    It’s hard not to trust someone who fully trusts themselves.

    But it’s hard not to accept someone who fully accepts themselves.

    It’s hard not to be at ease around someone fully at ease with themselves.

    In other words: if you want others to trust, accept, and be at ease with you, first learn to trust, accept, and be at ease with yourself.

    You don’t need anyone else for that – just some tiny daily actions that prove that trust, acceptance, and comfort to yourself.

    Oh, and you could start with that today.

    You don’t have to.

    But you could. And if you could, why wouldn’t you?

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    #19 The first time feels funny, the fiftieth time you fly

    In a podcast segment about practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu,Tim Ferris and Joshua Waitzkin discuss a principle for managing expectations they call:

    “The first rep doesn’t count.”

    Tim Ferris, Josh Waitzkin: https://tim.blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/148-josh-waitzkin.pdf

    In other words: when performing a move for the first time, your body and mind need to get used to it. Gradually,you’ll get better – and the more aware you are of your body, the faster you’ll make progress – but judging someone on their first attempt doesn’t say much about their future potential.

    This holds true for many skills in life, like starting a daily publishing habit.

    Publishing a post or a video for the first time always feels funny (and often frightening). At this stage, judgment or feedback is futile. It’s all about jumping the hurdle of getting started

    Publish five times, you’re ready to get some feedback (both from yourself and from others)…

    Publish for the fiftieth time, and you’re well on your way to turn it into a habit… and fly.

    So whenever I start something new, I manage my expectations by repeating to myself:

    The first time feels funny. The fiftieth time I fly.

    And for bonus points: What would it feel like the 500th time?

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    #113 Make space

    Actions overrule thoughts, and sometimes the best creative act – and the one requiring the most discipline – is doing nothing.

    Because when you slow down your pace, suddenly you realize: there’s space.

    There’s space for the thoughts and feelings you were so afraid to face.

    There’s space to redirect the energy you’ve misplaced.

    There’s space to rediscover everything that escaped your gaze while you were engaged in an endless rat race.

    There’s space for you to remember
    that before you learned not to listen
    and constant distraction erased every trace
    of the insights you so desperately chase
    there was a place of stillness
    a warm embrace
    where all the answers were right there, in your face

    Only when you’ve slowed down your mind’s pace
    you realize
    you were never out of place
    you were navigating a self-inflicted maze
    with only one way out:

    Make space.

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