#5 How did I ever let that stop me?

ByLukas

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

  • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
  • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
  • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

  • Because it helps me slow down.
  • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
  • Because I feel calm after writing them.
  • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
  • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

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    #213 Comfortable dissatisfaction

    ByLukas

    You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.

    You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.

    You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.

    Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.

    Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.

    But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.

    So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.

    And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.

    Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.

  • #340 This is all you have to do today

    ByLukas

    You may want to be a published, acclaimed author, or an online writer with a massive audience. But today, all you have to do is write.

    You may want to be the best marathon runner in your country. But today, all you have to do is go for one run.

    Whatever lofty vision you have for yourself, today, all you have to do is take one tiny step, one Tiny Trust Builder moving you closer to the person you want to be.

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    #108 The Unexpected Complement

    ByLukas

    Unique value often lies in seemingly strange combinations.

    The beekeeping lawyer.

    The pro soccer player with an astrophysics degree.

    The theologist waking up early every morning to go surfing.

    The public servant spending their evenings performing at the local stand-up comedy bar.

    The motorcycle repair shop owner writing philosophy books.

    The chess champion with a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu black belt.

    Societal pressure and expectations make such combinations unlikely. Out of the ordinary. Maybe even undesirable: an obstacle to conformity.

    And if it’s undesirable, it becomes rare.

    And here’s the twist: what’s rare usually becomes valuable.

    Because there’s nothing incompatible about these combinations – in fact, the skills you practice may well complement each other in unique and valuable ways.

    What could be an unexpected complement for your life?

    Something you’re secretly interested in, but – according to society – doesn’t fit who you are (or who you’re supposed to be)?

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    #21 Action Defies Excuses (day 20 update)

    ByLukas

    Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

    • Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
    • Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
    • In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

    In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

    When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

    Which begs the question:

    Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

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