#5 How did I ever let that stop me?

ByLukas

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

  • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
  • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
  • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

  • Because it helps me slow down.
  • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
  • Because I feel calm after writing them.
  • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
  • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

Similar Posts

  • | |

    #140 I don’t have to be good at this today.

    ByLukas

    Trying to become good fast makes you impatient. And impatience may well stop you from ever becoming good in the first place.

    Because the only way to become good is by understanding that in today’s practice session, you likely won’t be perfect anyway.

    That you likely won’t write your most insightful words.

    That you likely won’t run an all-time best.

    That you’ll likely spend a large part of your yoga session stumbling and losing balance.

    When you go into your practice session with that mindset…

    Suddenly it makes sense to focus hard on getting that one sentence right.

    Now it makes sense to focus on rhythmic breathing while running instead of pushing for a better time.

    Now it makes sense to focus on a tiny part of your body during an entire yoga session to train your awareness instead of trying to chase poses because “they look professional.”

    Even if there is not much time to “become good,” it still makes sense to assume there is time.

    Because that gives you the freedom to focus on the small adjustments that prepare you for when the time comes, and you truly need to perform.

    Since I’m always practicing anyway, I don’t have to be good at this today.

  • #244 What am I meant to do today

    ByLukas

    “What am I meant to do?” I often wonder.

    You may have the same question on your mind.

    Or maybe you don’t think about it at all, my friend. And perhaps that’s the better choice.

    The search for purpose may not be about finding that one grand mission.

    Maybe it’s about creating tiny ripples of influence right where we are with what we have.

    Maybe the right question is, “What am I meant to do today?”

    That way, we make each day matter in ways big and small.

    Because these are the days we live anyway.

  • |

    #225 Commitment comes first

    ByLukas

    When you decide if you should be chasing this goal, job, relationship, or place to live – in other words, commitment – you choose between action or inaction based on if it’s a viable, worthwhile, realistic goal.

    When you decide on the course of action – in other words, how to do something – you’re already committed to action.

    Sometimes, the commitment might be too big, too hard, or too disruptive – and that’s perfectly valid.

    But here’s what I’ve noticed, my friend: whenever I try to decide on the how before I’ve decided on the commitment, I have even more doubts, and any course of action seems complicated.

    I’m curious how you feel about it. We’ll talk more about it in the coming days and weeks.

  • #224 What a burden

    ByLukas

    The other day, I talked about changing your focus to change how you feel about the events in your day.

    But something strange happened when I first had that realization.

    It didn’t feel like a relief.

    Do I even want that responsibility? To choose how events affect me?

    After all, that would take away my right to complain about how poorly life treats me.
    I couldn’t ascribe any successes or achievements to “sheer luck” anymore.
    And wouldn’t it be silly to say I don’t deserve happiness, luck, or anything good if I knew I could change my focus and be lucky this very moment?

    What a burden.

    I’m still deciding if I am strong enough to carry it.

    But one thing’s for sure: the days I have the presence of mind to direct my focus are the days I feel best.

    I wonder if it’d be like that for you, too.

    Maybe you could try it out? Even if it’s to indulge me.

    See how it feels.

    And let me know how it goes. I’m curious about you.

  • #390 Make the daily practice easy

    ByLukas

    The trick to successful habit-building: make daily practice easy.

    We often do the opposite: we make weekly practice hard.

    If I tell myself I’m going to post one long blog post every week, I’ll find a million reasons not to write for the first six days until I have no choice but to write.

    But if I tell myself I will post daily, the longest I can procrastinate is… 12 hours?

    And after a week, I’ve practiced my publishing habit 7 times.

    So it goes for meditation, yoga, running, and any skill or habit.

    Make the daily practice easy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *