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    #189 Cling and let go

    If I want to act differently, I let go of the past.

    If I want to act the same way I always did, I cling to the past.

    Both clinging and letting go have their place.

    I could cling to a habit of eating healthily, or treating others with kindness.

    But maybe I could let go of a habit of self-criticism.

    What benefits me? What benefits others?

    What harms me? What harms others?

    Who do I want to be?

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    #235 Do I care? Should I care?

    I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
    I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.

    I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
    I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.


    Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”

    ”But should I care?” I hear you ask.

    Well, my friend, that’s a different question.

  • #240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

    Most people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.

    I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.

    But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.

    Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.

    After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.

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    #116 Pursue or reconsider?

    What would you still do even if nobody else would ever see or hear it?

    What do you secretly love but you don’t WANT anyone else to see or hear – out of fear of being judged?

    Both are good indicators of a passion – or an addiction.

    If it’s a passion, and it’s good for you (aligned with your values and goals and fulfilling): pursue.

    If it’s an addiction, and it’s bad for you: reconsider.

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    #226 Making all the selves get along

    “Is this really important right now?” I ask myself, as another distraction passes through my head.

    I imagine an old wise man, disturbed from his task at hand, looking up.

    “No? Can you come back later then, at a more appropriate time? Thank you very much.”

    Back to work he goes.


    “Is this really a life-threatening event?” I ask myself, as another anxiety-inducing thought intrudes my mind.

    I imagine the same old wise man, fending off a harassing distraction.

    “No? Can you come back with a message more appropriate to the severity of the event? Thank you very much.”

    On with life he goes.


    If only it were that easy, my friend.

    The distracted, anxious, worried mind tends to fight back. I’m taking the liberty to assume you’ve also noticed that at some point in your life.

    Nevertheless, I believe we can, nay, we must fight back.

    Not that I’m advocating suppression.

    Excited, worried, sanguine, anxious, passionate, defeated: let them have their moment of attention – at the appropriate time.

    Maybe it’s all about the art of making all the selves get along?


    I imagine the old wise man, who has mastered that art.

    I know I’m not that old wise man yet.

    But I could be, if I make it a point to practice every day.

    And so could you, if you make it a point to practice every day.

    If that’s something that’s important to you, of course. That’s for you to decide, in your personal situation and in your personal life.

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