#139 Habit Milestones

ByLukas
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The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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    #103 Show me one daily action

    ByLukas

    So you say you want to be a writer?
    Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.

    So you say you value connection with family and friends?
    Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.

    So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
    Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.

    Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.

    For you to start believing you care.

    That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.

    That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.

    Because actions overrule thoughts.

    Actions form (or break) beliefs.

    Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.

    One action a day. That’s all it takes.

    Lukas Van Vyve

  • #4 When the best story in the world has already been written…

    ByLukas

    When the best story in the world has already been written… why do I write?

    Because writing is not a choice – and neither is telling stories.

    Because stories are never finished.

    Because the best stories in the world are written over and over again.

    Because a story well-told depends on who you’re telling it to.

    Because we all tell the same stories anyway, but that one little change, that one new interpretation can make the difference between touching someone or missing the mark.

    But what IS the best story in the world?

    I don’t know.

    I do know they don’t have to be very elaborate to have impact:

    For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

    Ernest Hemingway

    When someone, sometime, stumbled upon six words that can evoke so much… How can I NOT continue my own search for stories and the words to tell them?

    P.S.: Credits to Jony Mitchell for writing the best song in the world.

    P.P.S: Extra credits for singing the most heartfelt version even after suffering a stroke and having to relearn to talk and sing.

    P.P.P.S.: Credits to The Tallest Man on Earth for showing that a new interpretation can make even the best song in the world reach new heights, and providing the inspiration for this post.

  • #277 Feel the words

    ByLukas

    If you know what you want to say but you can’t find the words yet, write without thinking about the words.

    Write while thinking about the feeling.

    Allow yourself to feel it first.

    Feel it fully, then write the words.

    Feel it fully, let stream-of-consciousness words come out..

    Feel it fully, then start sculpting away.

    Keep feeling it, and keep writing about it. Every day. Because sooner or later, feeling the words words will reveal what you want to say.

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    #75 2 Questions to Ask Before Starting a Project

    ByLukas

    Habits are hard to build. But there’s one that’s easy to get used to: starting a new project, then giving up.

    Sometimes it’s better not to start at all, so you avoid reinforcing a quitter’s identity: I’ve given up so many times in the past, I’ll probaby give up again.

    So how do you know which projects are worth starting?

    Ask yourself the following questions:

    1. Is this something I really want? Something that’s good for me AND feasible in the short/medium/long term? (Trust of Intention)
    2. Am I prepared to go through a phase where the sole purpose is building a habit without caring about improving or marking much progress? (Trust of Completion)

    If the answer to both questions is yes, you’re onto something.

    If not, you’re setting yourself up for frustration.

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    #186 The hour of misery

    ByLukas

    Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

    But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

    Enter the hour of misery.

    One hour of busy work and chores a day.

    60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

    If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

    Delegate.

    OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

    After all, tomorrow’s another day.

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