#166 It’s not about goals, it’s about the questions they raise

You don’t have to believe yet you can write, meditate, do yoga every day.

But nothing stops you from acting as if you already can.

After all, what would your day look like if you were already able to write every day?

That’s right. Not so different, apart from the fact that you would write. Today.

So if you decide to write today, even if it’s just one sentence, you’re acting in the exact same way as a person who already knows they can write every day.

And if you act the same way… you’re becoming that person**.**

That’s a lot of words to say… it’s not so hard to be a writer today.

Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.

So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.

Not pleasant. But predictable.

This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.

Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.

I could consider myself a writer if I write 20,000 words a day – and I would be right.

Or I could consider myself a writer if I write one sentence a day – and I would be right.

I could consider myself a writer if I’ve written a book – and I would be right.

Or I could consider myself a writer the moment I’ve decided I’m going to be a writer – and I would be right.

I could consider myself a writer if I’ve built up enough self-trust and taken enough daily actions that prove that I genuinely care about being a writer – and I would be right.

Whether you’re aware of them or not, you’re using subjective measuring sticks for everything, usually determined by upbringing, culture, and societal pressure.

But nothing stops you from consciously choosing your measuring sticks (depending on your goals, you could make them easier or more challenging) and setting yourself up for more fulfillment and success.

Here are some questions that can help:

When you say you want to be {successful, happy, fulfilled, fit, wealthy}…

How do you know you’re reaching your goal?

Is it an achievement?

A material possession?

A feeling?

An action you take?

A decision you make?

Choose wisely.

Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

Work hard, rest hard.

Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.