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  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.


    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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    #11 fixing a flawed faux finish

    when the cracks in my faux finish
    finally appear
    my mind screams out
    you’re coming too near

    yet i resist the need to hide
    lean in to the fear
    let the cracks grow wide
    because after all these years
    slowly steadily submerged under layers of snow
    frozen frightened i don’t know where else to go

    i feel i’m sliding back into my head
    but you don’t let me
    instead
    you keep me here
    make even more light appear
    look at the fear
    until the icy flawed frozen faux finish finally fully melts away
    into a trembling torrent of tears

    and through the sobs
    subtle shining light teardrops
    mix mingle mend my mind
    my heart my soul a warmth so kind

    you guide my gaze and through the tears
    in my eyes a rainbow appears
    eclipsing the fear
    making it clear
    that when I dare to feel complete
    allow your heart and mine to meet

    i finally remember
    that I’m enough
    i’ve always been

    and at last
    i can be seen

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #282 You can write every day

    If you truly believe you can write every day – not that it is generally possible to write every day, but that YOU can write every day – you would be doing it already.

    So if you’re not, ask yourself:

    Do you believe YOU can write every day?

    If not, why not?

    Is it physically impossible for you to write something every day? A page, a paragraph, a sentence… a word?

    Deep down, you know the answer to that question.

    And now we’ve established you can write every day; what other excuses come up?

    That the work won’t be good?

    That the words won’t capture what you want to say?

    That you’ll disappoint others?

    That you’ll disappoint yourself?

    Put words to your fears, then ask yourself: what would happen if they all came true?

    Would that stop you from writing? Or would it liberate you?

    Would you maybe be just fine?

    What would it be like to have overcome your fears and still be writing anyway?

    Only one way to find out…

    Write. Every. Day.

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    #40 Pushing a destructive frontier

    5 billion years ago, our solar system didn’t exist in its current form – but the laws of our universe already held the promise that one day, an earth like ours would revolve around a sun.

    That earth has been revolving around the sun long before any human started observing planetary orbits and realized we’re not the center of the universe.

    Animals, plants, mountains and oceans have instinctively dealt with the law of gravity long before an apple fell on Newton’s head.

    Energy and mass have been two sides of the same coind long before Einstein proposed a formula for mass-energy equivalence (E = mc²).

    Knowledge: invented or discovered?

    More importantly: what do we do with all that knowledge – and the power it give us?

    100 years ago, nuclear weapons didn’t exist yet – but the atomic building blocks and reactions making it possible have always been hidden inside the earth and the universe.

    50 years ago, the internet wasn’t “invented” yet – but the concept of an internet has always been possible.

    Today, general artificial intelligence don’t exist yet. Yet it seems that the laws of the universe have always made developing artificial life a possibility – even if it means biological life becomes obsolete.

    Do we pursue power
    persistently pushing the frontier
    even if we run the risk
    that we destroy everything we hold dear?

    Lukas Van Vyve

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