#416 From now on, I do…

ByLukas

Today could be the day you become who you’ve always wanted to be.

All it takes is one small change.

I used to do this.

But from now on, I do that.

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    #3 Trust issues and the Completion Paradox

    ByLukas

    Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:

    Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”

    Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”

    Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”

    (Source: Eben Pagan)

    And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…

    Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.

    “Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”

    Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:

    Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.

    So… the questions I keep in mind today:

    • How can I bring my positive habit-building experiences from the past, and the trust I built into this new activity?
    • What would it feel like if, instead of spoiling the fun of starting this daily publishing with nagging self-doubt, waiting for the “inevitable moment where I’ll give up”… I celebrate each time I’m following through and see it as another step closer to a new habit… another step closer to self-trust?

    Taking it one step further:

    • What would it feel like to have this new habit in place already? How would I act if I already had enough trust that no matter what happens, even if I miss a day, or even a week, I’ll return back to daily publishing?

    And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…

    “It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”

    Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
    And desire turns into despair
    When I suddenly see what I always had in me
    Who I could be
    Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
    I step back
    Look back
    Feel back
    And when at last I notice
    That day by day,
    I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
    I remind myself
    It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.

  • #400 3 lessons from 400 consecutive days of writing (and a request)

    ByLukas

    Today marks day 400 of the Daily Insight newsletter – which calls for a longer post and a question for you.

    Let’s start with three lessons I learned from publishing daily.

    Lesson 1: Writing when not you’re not inspired IS the point

    I wasn’t inspired every day in the past 400 days – but many days I was.

    And I wouldn’t have had the inspiring days without the uninspired days.

    Maybe writing when you’re not inspired is the whole point.

    Because showing up for the bad moments makes it possible to be there for the good moments, too.

    Lesson 2: You don’t have to be ready to get started – you get started to become ready

    In the past, I just couldn’t get myself to write, not even if I really wanted to.

    Now, I just write.

    Doing something new always goes against your current beliefs and always comes with resistance – otherwise, you would already be doing it.

    But seeing how tiny daily actions can normalize a behavior that in the past seemed unattainable was incredibly empowering.

    You don’t have to be ready to get started. You get started to become ready.

    Lesson 3: It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it’s meaningful to you

    For the longest time, I felt like I always gave up on things that were important to me. I just couldn’t persevere.

    So, I chose to start writing daily. But I could’ve also decided to run every day. Or knit.

    In the end, the activity itself doesn’t matter. You can choose any desire you feel resistance towards…

    And start using it as a symbol of your defiance against your limiting beliefs.

    In its essence, such “Tiny Trust Builder” actions, as I came to call them, are symbolic.

    Pick one. Attach meaning to it. Use it to prove to yourself that your aspirations are not just pipe dreams. And see how your life changes.

    What’s next?

    Maybe it didn’t have to take 400 days to prove to myself that I could write every day – or maybe it did.

    Either way, I did it. And now the question arises: what’s next?

    To answer that question, I need your help.

    Why are you subscribed to this newsletter? What do you get out of it?

    Could I do anything to make the newsletter more interesting to you?

    Let me know by replying to this email so we can shape the next 400 newsletters together.

    Thanks for being along for the journey!

    • Lukas
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    #97 Not loneliness. Solitude.

    ByLukas

    All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

    Blaise Pascal, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19682-all-of-humanity-s-problems-stem-from-man-s-inability-to-sit

    We often equate sitting quietly in a room alone with loneliness: a word with a negative emotional charge.

    But sitting quietly in a room can also bring solitude: the simple state of being by yourself, without any negative connotation.

    Solitude can give relief of the pressure to be constantly “socializing” (through social media apps or in real life).

    Relief of the pressure to socialize can make space.

    Space you can use to hear the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your body.

    Thoughts and feelings that can tell you what’s truly important to you.

    And then you realize that what’s truly important to you is nothing new.

    It’s something you already knew, before you learned not to listen.

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