#19 The first time feels funny, the fiftieth time you fly

ByLukas
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In a podcast segment about practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu,Tim Ferris and Joshua Waitzkin discuss a principle for managing expectations they call:

“The first rep doesn’t count.”

Tim Ferris, Josh Waitzkin: https://tim.blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/148-josh-waitzkin.pdf

In other words: when performing a move for the first time, your body and mind need to get used to it. Gradually,you’ll get better – and the more aware you are of your body, the faster you’ll make progress – but judging someone on their first attempt doesn’t say much about their future potential.

This holds true for many skills in life, like starting a daily publishing habit.

Publishing a post or a video for the first time always feels funny (and often frightening). At this stage, judgment or feedback is futile. It’s all about jumping the hurdle of getting started

Publish five times, you’re ready to get some feedback (both from yourself and from others)…

Publish for the fiftieth time, and you’re well on your way to turn it into a habit… and fly.

So whenever I start something new, I manage my expectations by repeating to myself:

The first time feels funny. The fiftieth time I fly.

And for bonus points: What would it feel like the 500th time?

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    #189 Cling and let go

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    If I want to act differently, I let go of the past.

    If I want to act the same way I always did, I cling to the past.

    Both clinging and letting go have their place.

    I could cling to a habit of eating healthily, or treating others with kindness.

    But maybe I could let go of a habit of self-criticism.

    What benefits me? What benefits others?

    What harms me? What harms others?

    Who do I want to be?

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    #130 The perfect excuse

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    Perfectionism is the perfect excuse for not showing up.

    If you don’t publish because you’re waiting for the perfect blog post, you’ll hide behind your desk forever – because there’ll always be something you can improve.

    If you don’t go for a walk because you’re waiting for the perfect weather, you’ll be stuck forever inside – because there’ll always be a day with more sunshine or a nicer breeze.

    If you wait to live the life you desire until you have the perfect age, amount of money, degree, or partner, you’ll wait until it’s too late to enjoy your life in the first place.

    If you know things will never be perfect anyway, and you’re not allowed to wait until they’re perfect, or even until they’re “good enough”…

    What could you start doing today? What have you been putting off?

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    ByLukas

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

  • #470 Live the way you want, not the way you started

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    “Because that’s the way I always did it”. “Because that’s how I was raised.” “Because that’s just who I am.”

    “Because that’s the way I intend to do it.” “Because that’s how I believe I should act.” “Because that’s just who I choose to become.”

    Without bringing intention to your life, you won’t live the way you want but the way you started.

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    #135 Violence in a flower garden

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    It’s easy to be non-violent when you’re in a flower garden

    Josh Waitzkin – The art of learning

    It’s easy to be kind to others when the world has always been kind to you.

    It’s easy to say you want to be a writer when you never really put yourself out there to prove it.

    To learn writing, I must confront the uncomfortable parts of writing – and learn not to respond by running away from it.

    To learn non-violence, I must confront violence – and learn not to respond with violence in return.

    To learn kindness, I must confront being hurt – and learn not to use that as an excuse to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.

    To build trust in myself, I must stay true to my values under difficult conditions.

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