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  • #381 Why you should make habits doable and frequent

    The more frequent and the less intrusive the habit, the easier it is to stick to.

    Commit to writing for an hour once week? You’ll find a million reasons to procrastinate until the very last moment, on Sunday night, to write.

    Commit to writing for 5 minutes once a day? The timeline is so short, there are no more excuses.

    Make it doable. Make it frequent. And suddenly every habit is within reach.

  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.


    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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    #82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.

    Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.

    Where else could I use a new default?

    Choice inflection.

  • #298 Setting yourself up for success

    You can choose what success in your life looks like.

    And if you make your daily successes achievable enough so you feel successful every day, guess what: you’re a successful person now.

    There’s a reason it’s called Tiny Trust Builders, not massive out-of-reach Trust Builders.

    So celebrate that one-minute workout you did.
    That one sentence you wrote today.
    That one new word you learned in a new language.
    That one time you didn’t give in to cravings.

    Because daily Tiny Trust Builders create massive momentum and massive self-trust.

    And I don’t know about you, my friend, but I’d rather feel successful every day than like a failure because those good feelings will carry over in all other aspirations and relationships.

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