#479 Fighting vs Facing a Fear
Fighting a fear makes it fester.
Facing a fear makes it disappear.
Fighting a fear makes it fester.
Facing a fear makes it disappear.
You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life?
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
But what are those few things that lead to a satisfying life?
Do we decide ourselves, or let others – or society – decide for us?
The trick to building discipline: stick to your projects more often than you quit, so your actions start overruling self-defeating thoughts.
So how make sure you stick to more of your projects and habits
Make them feasible. Start small.
Write a couple of sentences in your journal every day.
Write short articles.
Walk for 5 minutes.
Do 2 minutes of breathing exercises.
In the long run, you’ll probably have to build up volume and intensity. But first, start small. Build trust of completion. Become disciplined.
Why do you love writing, despite the fact that the act of writing is often a drag?
Why do you love running, despite the fact that the act of going for a run is often a chore?
Why do you love learning languages, despite the fact that the act of practicing is often riddled with frustration?
Why do you love it so much?
And wouldn’t it feel good to remind yourself of that love every day… so you make sure the love is there to stay?
I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.
I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.
I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.
While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.
Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.
A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.
And with every new insight, I become a little less blind to what’s already here.
In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.
The perfect explanation might never come.
The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.
But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.
At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.
Or maybe it never happens.
It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.
Working on your business so hard you neglect your health – and end up in bed with a burnout.
Being so absorbed with selflessly helping others you forget to set boundaries – and end up drained and resentful.
Being so focused on the practice your neglect your friends and family – and you end up lonely.
The line between purposeful passion and compulsive addiction is thin.
This is where trust building comes in.
Building trust in your intentions – so you verify that your actions benefit you and your environment.
Building trust in your self-awareness – so you notice when you cross over in compulsive obsession space, and pull yourself back into purposeful passion territory.
Building trust in the people around you – so you listen to them when they see you’re slipping, and you let them help you get back on the right path.
Trust is a beacon of light, keeping you on track.
What will you do today to protect and fuel it?
Your best writing can only happen when you’re writing.
Your running PR can only happen when you’re running.
And your most cherished moments with friends can only happen when you’re with your friends.
You can try to time life.
But the only foolproof way to live your best moments do is by showing up in the moment.