A new phone out of necessity – because the old one broke.
A new phone out of longing for the rush of something new.
A new business idea because changing circumstances have rendered the old business model unviable.
A new business idea because the previous one is progressing slower than I expected, and I’m getting bored.
There are many reasons to embrace novelty. And there are just as many reasons to fight it.
835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.
It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).
Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).
None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.
The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.
Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.
It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.
It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.
In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.
And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.
I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.
And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.
P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.
After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.
You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.
Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.
P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!
I’ll never believe I can write until I allow myself to write.
I’ll never believe I can grow my body stronger until I allow myself to do do something consistently to grow my body stronger.
I’ll never believe I can mend a mistreated mind until I allow my mind to be mended.
I’ll never believe I can heal a broken heart until I allow myself to start loving again.
You don’t start doing something because you believe you can do it.
You do it because you find leverage to allow yourself to do it, even if it feels outside your comfort zone.
Until here, and no further.
You feel bad because you don’t write.
And when you write, you feel bad because you’re scared of the inevitable day you stop writing.
That’s how you create a self-improvement prison.
And that prison has only one way out.
Intend to do what’s good for you.
Then realize that even if you don’t live up to that standard all the time, you’re still worthy of self-love and self-trust.
Focus on intention, not outcome.
Focus on cultivating elastic discipline rather than on becoming a habit hardliner.
Focus on the general direction of your life, not a day-by-day judgment of your every action.
Maintain a majority vote for who you want to be.
Realize you’re not going to be perfect today – and being perfect isn’t the goal anyway.
“I can only do that when…”
Remove the “only” and the when”.
I can do that.
And so can you.
First, you write. Then you become a writer.
First, you run. Then you become a runner.
First, you set boundaries. Then you become good at setting boundaries.
But before all that comes the decision to write. To run. To set boundaries.
Because you’re dissatisfied with the past and say never again.
Because you’re filled with excitement about a future vision.
Because you know you’re ready to make the change.
You’ll know when it’s time, my friend.
Publishing a daily blog post may seem unreasonable to you,
but for me, it’s just what I do.
Going for a daily run may seem unreasonable to you,
but for me… it’s just what I do.
For you it may be an unreasonable thing to do,
yeet I am me.
And you are you.
What’s an unreasonable thing for everyone else,
but for you, it’s just what you do?
