#46 Feigned feelings

ByLukas
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feigned feelings lead to forced forging
of a bond, brittle, easily broken

but when i learn to listen
to the winds whirling within
stop seeing them as a sin

when i hold them back no more
forceful feelings finally roar
revealing a hidden song
sung secretly for so long

my true self set free
softly I breathe
my melody into your mind
feelings mingle, sometimes grind
leaving the shyness far behind

and hearing our songs entwined
I am no longer blind
to the insight
that we’ve been singing the same song
of a wordless world where we all belong

at last I feel strong
for we were always one
blessed by a bond
that can’t be undone

Lukas Van Vyve

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    #221 How to appease the worrier mind

    ByLukas

    How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
    And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
    Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
    Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
    Should you be worrying at all?
    If not, could you stop right away?

    Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

    Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

    Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

    Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

    Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

    Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

    But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

    So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

    Let me know how it goes.

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    #132 Unlimited Learning

    ByLukas

    Learning often implies discovering what you can’t do.

    I can’t write and convey what I want to say. I can’t speak Spanish fluently. I can’t do this yoga pose.

    For many people that’s also the final destination, when in fact, it’s only the start.

    We’re missing a word: Learning is discovering what you can’t do yet.

    Or, even better:

    Learning is discovering what, through diligent practice, you’ll soon be able to do.

    After all, actions overrule thoughts.

    I can’t write and find the right words… yet. But with diligent practice, soon, I’ll be able to convey what I want to say.

    I’m not able to do this yoga pose… yet. But with diligent practice, soon I will.

    I can’t speak Spanish fluently… yet. But with diligent practice, soon I will.

    That’s all there is to it.

    Discover your current limit. Realize that through diligent practice, you’ll overcome it.

    Then you’ll find a new limit. And through diligent practice, you’ll overcome it.

    Until you find a new limit, which you’ll overcome… through diligent practice.

    Where do you let the discovery of your current limit be your end station?

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    #162 Maintaining the majority

    ByLukas

    If you write more consistently than you don’t write, you’re a writer.

    If you run more consistently than you don’t run, you’re a runner.

    And while every action you take is a vote for who you want to be, you don’t need 100% of the votes to build a habit or adopt an identity.

    It’s okay to slip up, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to make a mistake – as long as you cast enough votes in favor of your desired identity.

    Don’t be a hardliner nor a totalitarian. Be disciplined without fearing the occasional laps.

    Focus on maintaining the majority.

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    #313 Keep it Achievable, Pleasurable, Sustainable

    ByLukas

    I’ve been publishing daily posts for 300+ days now.

    The secret?

    Writing less.

    • I don’t want to spend hours writing daily posts, so I keep them short.

    • I don’t want to drag myself to a 4-day writing session to create all posts for the coming week in advance (then not write for the rest of the week)

    • I don’t want to set writing goals that are painful to reach and make me feel burnt out.

    • I do want to write a little bit every day, so I prove to myself every single day that I’m a writer.

    • I do want to feel that writing that daily post is achievable and fun.

    • I do want to build momentum.

    Keep it achievable. Keep it pleasurable. Keep it sustainable.

    In other words: Tiny Trust Builders.

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    #117 The quest for (average) ideas

    ByLukas

    Talking about “good and bad ideas” implies a ranking. Good, compared to what? Bad, compared to what?

    The truth is that most ideas you produce will be average – because there is no other way.

    Not all ideas can be your best idea – and if they are, they will soon be replaced by a better idea. Your previous best idea has now become average.

    Not all ideas can be your worst idea either. And if they are, they will soon be replaced by an even worse idea. Your worst idea has now become average.

    This dynamic matters. Because if you produce an idea a day, compared to someone producing one idea a month, your chances of replacing your current best idea with something better are much higher.

    You’ll also likely replace your current worst idea with something even worse – and that’s fine. You’re increasing amplitude in both directions. It’s all part of the practice.

    The more ideas you have, the bigger your sample size. The more elaborate the ranking. The better the good ideas. The worse the bad ideas.

    All this to say: bad, average, and good ideas ALL stack the odds of striking gold in your favor. What matters is that you show up and generate ideas.

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