#46 Feigned feelings

ByLukas
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feigned feelings lead to forced forging
of a bond, brittle, easily broken

but when i learn to listen
to the winds whirling within
stop seeing them as a sin

when i hold them back no more
forceful feelings finally roar
revealing a hidden song
sung secretly for so long

my true self set free
softly I breathe
my melody into your mind
feelings mingle, sometimes grind
leaving the shyness far behind

and hearing our songs entwined
I am no longer blind
to the insight
that we’ve been singing the same song
of a wordless world where we all belong

at last I feel strong
for we were always one
blessed by a bond
that can’t be undone

Lukas Van Vyve

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#319 Starting silly small

ByLukas

Start small.

Very small.

So small, it might feel silly at first.

For example, if you’ve committed to writing every day, don’t start by aiming to write a thousand words. Start with something you can absolutely, positively achieve.

Maybe that’s writing one sentence. Maybe it’s opening your notebook. Maybe it’s just holding a pen!

Your goal isn’t to produce fantastic prose, but simply to show up and write something.

After all, before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

#12 Back on track – discipline vs regret

ByLukas

Almost broke the chain today.

Then I remembered:

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Jim Rohn

Nothing builds more trust than daily practice, back to back.

Today, remembering that is more than enough.

I’m back on track.

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#117 The quest for (average) ideas

ByLukas

Talking about “good and bad ideas” implies a ranking. Good, compared to what? Bad, compared to what?

The truth is that most ideas you produce will be average – because there is no other way.

Not all ideas can be your best idea – and if they are, they will soon be replaced by a better idea. Your previous best idea has now become average.

Not all ideas can be your worst idea either. And if they are, they will soon be replaced by an even worse idea. Your worst idea has now become average.

This dynamic matters. Because if you produce an idea a day, compared to someone producing one idea a month, your chances of replacing your current best idea with something better are much higher.

You’ll also likely replace your current worst idea with something even worse – and that’s fine. You’re increasing amplitude in both directions. It’s all part of the practice.

The more ideas you have, the bigger your sample size. The more elaborate the ranking. The better the good ideas. The worse the bad ideas.

All this to say: bad, average, and good ideas ALL stack the odds of striking gold in your favor. What matters is that you show up and generate ideas.

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#186 The hour of misery

ByLukas

Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

Enter the hour of misery.

One hour of busy work and chores a day.

60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

Delegate.

OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

After all, tomorrow’s another day.

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#15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

ByLukas

What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

  1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
  2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
    1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
    2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
    3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”

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