There’s no need to get rid of excuses or resistance, because there’s no need to listen to the excuses and the resistance in the first place.
They only have power when you give them power.
And the less power you give them, the easier life becomes.
So make up the excuses, then move forward anyway..
Feel the resistance, then move forward anyway.
You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.
You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.
You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.
Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.
Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.
But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.
So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.
And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.
Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.
Giving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.
Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.
Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.
Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.
Performance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.
I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.
I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.
I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.
Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.
You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.
You don’t have to master this today.
I could decide that writing less than 1000 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.
I could decide that writing more than 50 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.
I could decide that not writing today would be failure – and I would be correct.
After all, for many things in life, you get to decide yourself what’s failure and what’s success.
In fact, my friend, just like me you may have already decided for yourself what’s failure and what’s success.
And just like me, you may need a reminder of that decision once in a while, so you can verify if it still serves you.
This is that reminder.
Which serves me well, because my decision was that writing you this short daily letter is exactly right.
See you tomorrow.
Today marks day 400 of the Daily Insight newsletter – which calls for a longer post and a question for you.
Let’s start with three lessons I learned from publishing daily.
I wasn’t inspired every day in the past 400 days – but many days I was.
And I wouldn’t have had the inspiring days without the uninspired days.
Maybe writing when you’re not inspired is the whole point.
Because showing up for the bad moments makes it possible to be there for the good moments, too.
In the past, I just couldn’t get myself to write, not even if I really wanted to.
Now, I just write.
Doing something new always goes against your current beliefs and always comes with resistance – otherwise, you would already be doing it.
But seeing how tiny daily actions can normalize a behavior that in the past seemed unattainable was incredibly empowering.
You don’t have to be ready to get started. You get started to become ready.
For the longest time, I felt like I always gave up on things that were important to me. I just couldn’t persevere.
So, I chose to start writing daily. But I could’ve also decided to run every day. Or knit.
In the end, the activity itself doesn’t matter. You can choose any desire you feel resistance towards…
And start using it as a symbol of your defiance against your limiting beliefs.
In its essence, such “Tiny Trust Builder” actions, as I came to call them, are symbolic.
Pick one. Attach meaning to it. Use it to prove to yourself that your aspirations are not just pipe dreams. And see how your life changes.
Maybe it didn’t have to take 400 days to prove to myself that I could write every day – or maybe it did.
Either way, I did it. And now the question arises: what’s next?
To answer that question, I need your help.
Why are you subscribed to this newsletter? What do you get out of it?
Could I do anything to make the newsletter more interesting to you?
Let me know by replying to this email so we can shape the next 400 newsletters together.
Thanks for being along for the journey!
It’s not about figuring out where you’d like to end up – it’s about deciding where you must go.
Lukewarm dreams freeze to death unless you light the fire of desire under them.
