#433 Feel it until it fades

ByLukas

You feel excitement. Happiness. Anger. Sadness.

But you are not your excitement or happiness.

Because if you allow yourself to cling to the emotions you desire, you’ll have not choice but to identify with undesirable ones, like anger and sadness, too.

Thus, you feel excitement – until it fades.

You feel happiness – until it fades.

You feel anger – until it fades.

You feel sadness – until it fades.

No matter which emotion rises, feel it until it fades. You’re going to be fine either way.

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    #119 Make anything a fulfilling skill

    ByLukas

    Learning a skill isn’t so much about getting better – that’s just a side effect.

    It’s about discovering new ways of doing the same thing – just because you can, and just because you’re curious.

    Doing the same thing, this time precisely – then doing it again, not precisely at all.

    Doing the same thing, this time deliberately, carefully thinking about every step – then doing it again, not thinking about any steps at all.

    When you stay curious, you learn to discover nuances you couldn’t perceive before.

    When you stay curious, you learn to be deliberate until you can be intuitive.

    When you stay curious, you learn to become less blind to what’s already here.

    And when you stay curious, you realize there’s not much more to a fulfilling life than sculpting away, day by day – and anything can be a fulfilling skill.

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    #238 A path paved by Tiny Trust Builders

    ByLukas

    My actions affect my identity and beliefs.

    And my identity and beliefs affect which actions I take.

    So, to change, I must consciously take actions that divert from my established identity and beliefs, and do what you believe is impossible for yourself.

    Until it’s not impossible anymore.

    It’s not an easy road, my friend. It takes courage. Effort. Sometimes pain.

    Many times, it’s not worth it.

    But sometimes, there’s no other way.

    And in those moments, it’s good to know there’s always someone willing to show you a path, paved by Tiny Trust Builders, taking you wherever you want to go.

    Since you’re reading my letters, that someone could be me, my friend.

    Or anyone else you know.

    I guess all I want to say is: you’re not in this alone.

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    #143 Tipping the scale

    ByLukas

    A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

    I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

    A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

    I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

    You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

    Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

    Tiny trust builders.

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    #101 It’s all about the actions

    ByLukas

    Achieving an outcome without the daily actions that lead to an identity shift is empty and unsustainable.

    I may want to publish a book. But if someone writes the whole book without my input and I put my name on it in the end, do I deserve to call it my book?

    I have a book. But I’m not a writer. And I’m not an author.

    I may want to have a million dollars. But if tomorrow I win the lottery or receive a large inheritance without any action from my side, what does that mean?

    I have a million dollars. But I’m not wealthy – and research suggests that without proper guidance, I’ll spend it all, ending up back at square one.

    It works the other way around, too. You can blindly chase an outcome (or slip into bad habits) without considering how the actions you need to take to get there will change you as a person.

    Depending on your actions to get there, chasing fame can make you happy – or very unhappy. Writing a book can make you happy or very unhappy. Building a hugely successful company can make you happy or very unhappy.

    The value, satisfaction, and resentment are all in the actions, not the outcome.

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    #34 Where else?

    ByLukas

    Regularly asking “Where else?” is one of the simplest ways to become more creative and generate innovative insights.

    Not only does this allow you to connect new insights with existing knowledge and experience, but it also invites you to imagine new use cases.

    • “Where else have I seen this (or something similar) before?”
    • “Where else does this apply (to my current knowledge)?”
    • “Where else might this apply (in contexts where I haven’t discovered it yet)?”

    Examples

    Harvard Medical School professor Herbert Benson suggests the neurotransmitter NO (Nitric Oxide) may be the catalyst for breakthroughs and “aha moments.”
    Where else have I seen this before? -> Pranayama/Yogic Breathing: Nasal breathing (and humming “om”) can increase nitric oxide production fifteen-fold. Humming your way to epiphanies might be worth a try.

    Learning a language by grouping words instead of reducing it to words and grammar. Where else does this apply? -> Conversation Based Chunking; learning series of digits by grouping them together;… See: chunking concept in cognitive psychology

    Uber made it possible for people to share/rent out their car.
    Where else might this apply? -> How about sharing/renting out your home? That’s how AirBnB was born.

    You don’t have to look elsewhere.
    See what’s already there, then ask…
    Where else?

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    #115 The path to higher self-esteem

    ByLukas

    Whenever someone commits to doing something and doesn’t follow through, I start distrusting them.

    Whenever I commit to doing something and don’t follow through, I start distrusting myself.

    The person who most often lets you down might well be you.

    If you don’t accept this behavior from others, why would you accept it from yourself?

    The path to higher self-esteem is paved with kept promises to yourself.

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