#546 The easiest path to where you want to go

ByLukas

The easiest path is to miss all days – you never get going in the first place so you don’t know what you’re missing.

The second easiest is to never miss a day – you’ll get where you want to go with little detours, even if you pay the cost of discipline.

The hardest (and most common) path is to miss a couple of days here and there – now you run the risk of getting lost.

We all miss a day sometimes – so we all get a little lost once in a while.

So what do we do?

We remind ourselves why we got started.

We remind ourselves where we’re going.

We remind ourselves that we’ve been lost before – and that we can always get back on track.

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    #251 Opportunities in Disguise

    ByLukas

    Opportunities often stare us in the face in our daily interactions, routines, and familiar environments – and that guise of the ordinary makes them invisible.

    After all, seeing the value in something that comes so easily to you is hard.

    So it takes an outsider to point it out.

    What skill are you taking for granted even though it’s really pretty cool?

    What comes naturally to you but is hard for others to do?

    Which problems can you solve effortlessly? If you solve them for others, how would that set them free?

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    #124 Deliberate Memories, Accurate Intuition

    ByLukas

    A memory is what we decide to remember from an experience – and what we decide to delete and forget.

    Intuition is the instant hunch we get after we’ve repeatedly created memories from experiences; the moment we don’t need the conscious memory anymore.

    A small (or unrepresentative) sample size leads to inaccurate intuition.

    If I’m betrayed three times in my life and have created strong memories around that, my intuition whenever meeting anyone else may be that they’ll betray me too. Three bad experiences have shaped, and skewed, my relationship to billions of others.

    How to develop accurate intuition?

    The more memories we create, the bigger the “sample size” for our intuition to emerge from, and the smaller the weight of “outlier events” (like being betrayed).

    The more deliberately we create these memories, the more deliberately we hone intuition.

    Create more memories. And create them deliberately.

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    #68 The sitcom comparison

    ByLukas

    Watching a sitcom or soap opera episode takes 20 minutes – and somehow, we always seem to find time for it.

    Doing some stretches or a quick workout can take as little as 15 minutes – yet somehow, it’s very hard to find time for it.

    Many good habits take take less time than watching a sitcom – and during and after, they’re often quite enjoyable. But our mind makes it so hard to start.

    Whenever something that’s good for you feels insurmountable and your mind starts playing tricks on you, put it into perspective.

    Doing this thing will take less time than watching a sitcom.

    Maybe I could even do it while watching the sitcom.

    And doing it will be a vote for the person I want to become.

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    #24 Put your actions where your mouth is

    ByLukas

    Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

    Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

    https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

    Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

    Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

    As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

    And that’s how we get out of a rut.

    (The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

    Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

    1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
      “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
    2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
      “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
    3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
      This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
      So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
    4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

    Which begs the question…

    Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

    Lukas Van Vyve

    Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

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    #91 Now is not the time to negotiate

    ByLukas

    I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.

    I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.

    That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.

    That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.

    “Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
    “I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
    “{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

    Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?

    Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?

    Who do I want (and choose) to be?

    I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

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