#546 The easiest path to where you want to go

ByLukas

The easiest path is to miss all days – you never get going in the first place so you don’t know what you’re missing.

The second easiest is to never miss a day – you’ll get where you want to go with little detours, even if you pay the cost of discipline.

The hardest (and most common) path is to miss a couple of days here and there – now you run the risk of getting lost.

We all miss a day sometimes – so we all get a little lost once in a while.

So what do we do?

We remind ourselves why we got started.

We remind ourselves where we’re going.

We remind ourselves that we’ve been lost before – and that we can always get back on track.

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  • #5 How did I ever let that stop me?

    ByLukas

    The other day you asked about my favorite words.

    But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

    Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

    Consider this one:

    “Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

    This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

    • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
    • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
    • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

    And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

    “Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

    Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

    “What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

    How would I feel about myself…

    How would I look at myself?

    What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

    Which obstacles would I have conquered?

    Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

    And just like that, with my imagination set free

    internal resistance melting away

    off I go

    finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

    P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

    Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

    • Because it helps me slow down.
    • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
    • Because I feel calm after writing them.
    • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
    • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

    P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

    Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

  • | |

    #114 Tiny Trust Builders

    ByLukas

    Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).

    Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.

    There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.

    I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.

    I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.

    I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.

    Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.

    Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.

    So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.

    The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.

  • |

    #208 How to get out of your self-improvement prison

    ByLukas

    You feel bad because you don’t write.

    And when you write, you feel bad because you’re scared of the inevitable day you stop writing.

    That’s how you create a self-improvement prison.

    And that prison has only one way out.

    Intend to do what’s good for you.

    Then realize that even if you don’t live up to that standard all the time, you’re still worthy of self-love and self-trust.

    Focus on intention, not outcome.

    Focus on cultivating elastic discipline rather than on becoming a habit hardliner.

    Focus on the general direction of your life, not a day-by-day judgment of your every action.

    Maintain a majority vote for who you want to be.

    Realize you’re not going to be perfect today – and being perfect isn’t the goal anyway.

  • | |

    #115 The path to higher self-esteem

    ByLukas

    Whenever someone commits to doing something and doesn’t follow through, I start distrusting them.

    Whenever I commit to doing something and don’t follow through, I start distrusting myself.

    The person who most often lets you down might well be you.

    If you don’t accept this behavior from others, why would you accept it from yourself?

    The path to higher self-esteem is paved with kept promises to yourself.

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