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  • #390 Make the daily practice easy

    The trick to successful habit-building: make daily practice easy.

    We often do the opposite: we make weekly practice hard.

    If I tell myself I’m going to post one long blog post every week, I’ll find a million reasons not to write for the first six days until I have no choice but to write.

    But if I tell myself I will post daily, the longest I can procrastinate is… 12 hours?

    And after a week, I’ve practiced my publishing habit 7 times.

    So it goes for meditation, yoga, running, and any skill or habit.

    Make the daily practice easy.

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    #114 Tiny Trust Builders

    Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).

    Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.

    There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.

    I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.

    I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.

    I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.

    Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.

    Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.

    So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.

    The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.

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    #139 Habit Milestones

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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    #11 fixing a flawed faux finish

    when the cracks in my faux finish
    finally appear
    my mind screams out
    you’re coming too near

    yet i resist the need to hide
    lean in to the fear
    let the cracks grow wide
    because after all these years
    slowly steadily submerged under layers of snow
    frozen frightened i don’t know where else to go

    i feel i’m sliding back into my head
    but you don’t let me
    instead
    you keep me here
    make even more light appear
    look at the fear
    until the icy flawed frozen faux finish finally fully melts away
    into a trembling torrent of tears

    and through the sobs
    subtle shining light teardrops
    mix mingle mend my mind
    my heart my soul a warmth so kind

    you guide my gaze and through the tears
    in my eyes a rainbow appears
    eclipsing the fear
    making it clear
    that when I dare to feel complete
    allow your heart and mine to meet

    i finally remember
    that I’m enough
    i’ve always been

    and at last
    i can be seen

    Lukas Van Vyve

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