You don’t become truly happy when a Duolingo owl, notifications, or leaderboards guilted them into spending hours on their phone – even if they learn something.
Could we create learning environments that build self-trust (you showed up because it’s important for you to show up)?
Discipline (I stuck to my plan and I feel good about it)?
Agency (I chose to do this today)?
A daily insight from Tony Robbins:
Wherever focus goes, energy flows.
Tony Robbins, https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/where-focus-goes-energy-flows/
We’re always ignoring and highlighting parts of our experience to make sense of the world – and it determines the way we feel.
To feel bad, you (temporarily) have to ignore all the events and things you consider positive.
To feel good, you (temporarily) have to ignore events and circumstances that can be challenging.
It all depends on context.
Sometimes, just to function, it’s necessary to ignore.
Sometimes you’re better off highlighting a bit more.
The big challenge: most of the time, we’re not aware of where our focus goes – so we let old habits and patterns decide how we feel – even if they don’t serve us at all.
Here’s an exercise I found useful: Tomorrow, focus on something that’s important for you once an hour (a post-it on your desk or a reminder on your phone can be useful). That way, it remains top of mind (and your energy will flow toward it).
Every hour, also take a moment to become aware of what you’re deleting from your experience, and what you’re highlighting.
We cling the most, not to our prized possessions we worked hard to obtain, but to the painful patterns that both hurt us AND keep us comfortable.
Some questions to ask yourself today:
Who do I want to be?
Which actions will turn me into the person I want to be?
Which actions STOP me from turning into that person I want to be?
Which of my actions, habits, and tendencies am I frustrated about, but simultaneously perpetuating?
Which painful patterns am I scared to let go of because they have been instrumental in making me who I am today?
When you start a new project, excitement eclipses sacrifices.
But when things get serious, you must know what you’re in for.
Your dreams may be worth every sacrifice. But you better know why, before life has passed you by.
656 days ago, I started writing 3 pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling a day.
That’s an inner dialogue of 1968 pages poured into piles of journals now safely stuffed away.
30 days ago, some of those thoughts started making their way to my blog.
I promised myself that if I made it to 30 daily posts in a row, I would start sharing them.
Today is the day, so here goes.
I’m sharing daily observations about language, language learning, memory, creativity, habits, discipline, the art of learning, tools for thought.
Lessons I’ve learned.
Insights I’ve earned.
Words I’ve heard.
Memories spurred.
Books I’ve read.
Poems flowing out of my heart and head.
No rules, no fixed topic, no niche, no marketing strategy.
Nothing but whatever’s on my mind.
I’ve learned a lot so far, but the most important insight: there’s power in publishing imperfect work.
Because if I allow myself to create something imperfect every day, I’m certain that someday the sum of all these imperfect creations will be something I’m proud of.
It’s liberating.
Maybe there’s liberating power in reading someone else’s imperfect work too.
I can’t wait to find out together with you.
If you like what you see, sign up for the newsletter 🙂
Does it make you feel good right now?
Will you feel good about it in an hour?
Will you feel good about it in a year?
Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
Taking it one step further:
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.
