What you used to have was okay – and probably enough.
What you have today is okay – and probably enough.
What you’ll have tomorrow will be okay – and probably enough.
You can believe you didn’t always have everything you needed – but don’t be a prisoner of your past.
You can always believe you deserve more – but don’t be a prisoner of your dreams.
If, in defiance of every limiting belief you have about yourself, you started to write every day, and you’re sticking to it, what else can you do that you previously thought impossible?
This is how the world becomes your oyster.
You’re a writer now.
And that means you’re starting to have a shot at being a good writer.
It’s possible to be disciplined to a fault, destroying yourself in the process of doing great things.
But it’s more common to be scared to a fault, preventing you from doing great things in the first place.
No one is bad at sticking to habits.
Because everyone’s day-to-day life is stitched together with recurring activities anyway, whether you consciously choose to do them or not.
Maybe you brush your teeth every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Maybe you wash your hands before every meal – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Maybe you shower every morning right after waking up – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Maybe you write every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Maybe you practice yoga three times a week – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Maybe you spend 10 minutes daily catching up with family, friends, acquaintances, or relatives you haven’t seen in a while – and that has become a non-negotiable.
Habits are habits.
And that has an interesting consequence:
If you can do that, you can also do this.
One swallow doesn’t make a summer and one off-day doesn’t kill your discipline.
But keep in mind, your actions are votes, and your votes build habits.
My advice? Better maintain the majority for the habit you want to be here to stay.
What’s the one Tiny Trust Builder you can do for yourself; one little thing thing that makes you feel good about yourself, and because you feel good, you’re good to other around you too?
What’s that one small constraint YOU decide to put on your day that, when protected fiercely, makes everything else so much better?
And if you know it makes everything better and you aren’t protecting it fiercely yet – why not?
Could you start today?
At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.
If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.
Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?
I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.
I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.
And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)
If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.
The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.
Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.
