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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
  • #360 The key to creating everything you ever wanted

    If you wouldn’t see overwhelming results in your first 30 days of writing, working out, dieting, or learning an instrument, would you still show up?

    Are you okay with small, almost invisible gains because the process of learning, creating, practicing is fulfilling enough in itself?

    And if not, could you be okay with that, if you knew it was the key to learning or creating anything you ever wanted?

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    #213 Comfortable dissatisfaction

    You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.

    You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.

    You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.


    Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.

    Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.

    But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.

    So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.

    And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.

    Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.

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