Make your habits easy to stick to by making them tiny.
Make your habits tiny to make it easy to build self-trust.
Make your habits part of your identity, so that you’re not scared to answer the following question anymore:
Did you do it or not?
No matter how long it takes
As long as you can say
“I am on my way”
Everything is going to be okay.
If you truly want to build a habit, you shouldn’t be able to hide behind excuses or vague commitments.
Which means the habit needs to be transparent.
Did you write one sentence today?
Did you learn one word in your target language today?
Did you run one mile today?
Some find transparency empowering.
Some think it’s scary.
But everyone who has built a habit knows this is the way.
Elon Musk has the rock-solid belief that someday, he’s going to put people on Mars. He doesn’t hope for it. He believes it’s inevitable.
Whether his belief becomes a reality or not is irrelevant. What matters are the actions and grit his faith inspires in him and everyone working with him.
That’s the rock-solid determination extraordinary feats are built on.
But you don’t have to dream of interplanetary travel to reach stellar levels of determination.
What would you do if writing a new book isn’t just optional or desirable but inevitable?
What would you do if mastering an instrument isn’t just possible but inescapable?
What happens when, in your mind, you turn a dream into a certainty?
How does that change your actions? Mindset? Beliefs? Feelings?
How much easier does it become to persevere?
Writing isn’t hard. Writing every day is – until it isn’t anymore.
That’s when writing becomes hard.
Build the habit, then you get a shot at building the skill.
I don’t wake up every day in love with the prospect of writing a blog post.
But I do love that part of my identity is that I publish something every day.
By not publishing, I would lose that part of my identity and end up frustrated because I gave up something I enjoy. And that’s painful.
So I write.
The secret to sticking to your habits: make the pain of quitting bigger than the pain of getting over the resistance against doing what you know is good for you.
Because the pain of discipline is always easier to bear than the pain of regret.
My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.
As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.
My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).
But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.
Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?
A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.
In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.
