Insights
#217 Inaction is not the lack of action
If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing. If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…) If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended
#216 Outward Proof of Inner Victories
Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend. Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question. But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have. Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days,
#215 I’ll write you something either way
I am tired today.But I’ll write you something either way, my friend.Maybe not a full essay.Maybe just a little wordplay.But I’ll write you either way.Why, you say?Simple.Because I want this, I want us to be one of those habits that are here to stay. What are you doing either way because you want it to
#214 Who’s in charge right now?
Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover. I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations. The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them. The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day. The ruthless
#213 Comfortable dissatisfaction
You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything. You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration. You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much
#212 Your beacon of trust
835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day. It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now). Not because I derive so much creative and
#211 If you can do that, you can also do this
No one is bad at sticking to habits. Because everyone’s day-to-day life is stitched together with recurring activities anyway, whether you consciously choose to do them or not. Maybe you brush your teeth every day – and that has become a non-negotiable. Maybe you wash your hands before every meal – and that has become
#210 How do you know you’re reaching your goal?
I could consider myself a writer if I write 20,000 words a day – and I would be right. Or I could consider myself a writer if I write one sentence a day – and I would be right. I could consider myself a writer if I’ve written a book – and I would be
#209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful. But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap. Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating. When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of
#208 How to get out of your self-improvement prison
You feel bad because you don’t write. And when you write, you feel bad because you’re scared of the inevitable day you stop writing. That’s how you create a self-improvement prison. And that prison has only one way out. Intend to do what’s good for you. Then realize that even if you don’t live up
#207 Overgeneralization vs Undergeneralization
Overgeneralization: I failed to stick to a new habit once, so I’ll always give up. Undergeneralization: Even though I’ve been writing consistently for months, I’m still expecting the day I’ll finally give up again. Both are manifestations of self-sabotage and perpetuations of a negative self-image. The only way out: don’t focus on habits, focus on
#206 How to always bounce back
On the days when I feel like everything I write is bad, I choose to be a writer. On the days when I feel like the most inspired writer, I choose to be a writer. On the days when I need to skip a day because life gets in the way, I choose to be