When you know you have crazy work days, build a simple base to come home to.
A serene home environment. A calming evening ritual. A nourishing hobby.
A sanctuary amidst the turmoil.
Because only when you can fully turn it off, can you fully turn it on without burning out.
I can say I want to run a marathon, write a book, or have a successful career – which doesn’t mean I’ll actually end up running a marathon, writing a book, or having a successful career.
But if I’m serious about it, it does mean I’ll take daily steps towards that goal – daily actions that will change my identity.
Can I live with the present-day implications of my uncertain future visions?
If I don’t know yet if I’ll ever write the book – will these daily actions still be fulfilling to me?
Will they make me happier?
Will I be happy with the person I become by taking such daily actions?
Do these daily actions contribute to a fulfilling emotional, mental, physical, and social life?
If not, am I willing to make emotional, mental, physical, or social sacrifices?
This is a choice everyone makes for themselves.
But I don’t want to make my present day miserable for an uncertain vision of the future I don’t even know will happen.
If writing and creating every day were as vital to my survival as drinking water, ingesting food, and bonding… What would life look like?
Biologically, all behavior is driven by pain, pleasure, and the triggers and habits that come from repeated reaction to those stimuli.
So I eat because I want to escape the pain of hunger – or heartbreak, sadness, and frustration.
I connect with others because I’m neurologically hardwired to feel pleasure when bonding… and pain and deprivation when I’m abandoned.
Similarly, I write because I want to escape the frustration of not being able to put into words an insight.
I also write because I enjoy the rush resulting from finding the words that convey what I want to say.
I write because I love the tingling in my back and neck when I combine those words into sentences with just the right rhythm, just the right cadence capturing the meaning, context, emotion of what I want to say…
I write because writing wrests the essence from the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions racing through my mind and body.
I write because when when I write, I feel that at last, I can make sense of life.
And the more meaning I find, the more likely I am to write.
I’m not writing because I can’t write?
I’m not playing the guitar because I’m bad at music?
I’m not learning a language because I’m bad at learning languages?
That’s the world on its head.
The truth is: you can’t write because you’re not writing.
You can’t play the guitar because you’re not playing the guitar.
You can’t speak the language because you’re not learning the language.
If you would write every day, cognitive dissonance starts doing its work. Your actions will overrule your thoughts and beliefs.
And every day you write, you’re becoming a writer.
Every day you play the guitar, you’re becoming a guitar player.
Every day you learn a language, you’re becoming a language learner.
The only reason you can’t do it because you’re not doing it.
Don’t get it backwards.
Thinking about writing makes the writing harder.
Dreaming about writing makes the writing harder.
Planning my writing sessions makes the writing harder.
But writing… that makes the writing easier.
Because most things become easier when you actually do them instead of just think about them.
Life could be hard on you today.
But you don’t have to be hard on yourself.
You always could.
Sometimes you should.
But most of the time, you don’t have to.
Do you really want to write a book? Or do you actually want to dream about writing a book?
Do you really want to drop everything and move to a sea-side town? Or do you want to dream about dropping everything and move to a sea-side town?
Both are fine. Both can be fulfilling, because often, having a dream is enough.
But both are not the same.
Only you will know if it’s the dream that makes you happy, or the action you want to take.
