#63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

ByLukas
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Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

Lukas Van Vyve

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    #195 Scarcity vs Destiny

    ByLukas

    I go to the gym, play volleyball, run, and land on yoga.

    I speak, film, consult, and land on writing.

    I sing, dance, drum, and land on playing the guitar.

    When you’ve only ever seen one path for yourself all your life, it’s scarcity.

    When you’ve opened your eyes, explored life, and consciously decided to take the path that aligns the most with who you want to be…

    It’s destiny.

    Explore.

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    #135 Violence in a flower garden

    ByLukas

    It’s easy to be non-violent when you’re in a flower garden

    Josh Waitzkin – The art of learning

    It’s easy to be kind to others when the world has always been kind to you.

    It’s easy to say you want to be a writer when you never really put yourself out there to prove it.

    To learn writing, I must confront the uncomfortable parts of writing – and learn not to respond by running away from it.

    To learn non-violence, I must confront violence – and learn not to respond with violence in return.

    To learn kindness, I must confront being hurt – and learn not to use that as an excuse to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.

    To build trust in myself, I must stay true to my values under difficult conditions.

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    ByLukas

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #188 Predictable pathways

    ByLukas

    Eating junk food for dinner. Because that’s what you always did.

    Having home-grown vegetables for lunch. Because that’s what you always did.

    Scrolling through social media apps for 20 minutes. Because that’s what you always did.

    Meditating for 20 minutes every morning. Because that’s what you always did.

    Working 15-hour days. Because that’s what you always did.

    Taking the time to relax, let the mind wander, and be with family. Because that’s what you always did.

    Our lives are full of predictable pathways, paved and reinforced by our past and present actions.

    But not all pathways are desirable.

    Luckily the past doesn’t equal the future.

    You can change your present actions to change the course of your pathway, away from a predictable future towards a desirable future.

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