#63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

ByLukas
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Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

Lukas Van Vyve

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    #270 How to gain trust, acceptance, and comfort

    ByLukas

    It’s hard not to trust someone who fully trusts themselves.

    But it’s hard not to accept someone who fully accepts themselves.

    It’s hard not to be at ease around someone fully at ease with themselves.

    In other words: if you want others to trust, accept, and be at ease with you, first learn to trust, accept, and be at ease with yourself.

    You don’t need anyone else for that – just some tiny daily actions that prove that trust, acceptance, and comfort to yourself.

    Oh, and you could start with that today.

    You don’t have to.

    But you could. And if you could, why wouldn’t you?

  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    ByLukas

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

  • #224 What a burden

    ByLukas

    The other day, I talked about changing your focus to change how you feel about the events in your day.

    But something strange happened when I first had that realization.

    It didn’t feel like a relief.

    Do I even want that responsibility? To choose how events affect me?

    After all, that would take away my right to complain about how poorly life treats me.
    I couldn’t ascribe any successes or achievements to “sheer luck” anymore.
    And wouldn’t it be silly to say I don’t deserve happiness, luck, or anything good if I knew I could change my focus and be lucky this very moment?

    What a burden.

    I’m still deciding if I am strong enough to carry it.

    But one thing’s for sure: the days I have the presence of mind to direct my focus are the days I feel best.

    I wonder if it’d be like that for you, too.

    Maybe you could try it out? Even if it’s to indulge me.

    See how it feels.

    And let me know how it goes. I’m curious about you.

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    #86 Practice daily, measure progress on average

    ByLukas

    The article I publish today may be worse than one I wrote 2 months ago.

    I may struggle today with a guitar piece I played effortlessly last week.

    And when I meditate today, my mind may be all over the place, even though last week it was calm as water.

    On any given day, I may feel that I’m making progress, that I’ve reached a plateau, or even that I’m going backwards.

    But it doesn’t matter.

    Progress isn’t always visible in daily practice. But without daily practice, there is no progress.

    If I stick to daily practice, on average, I’ll get better. I’ll start having more good days than bad. And slowly but surely, my ‘bad days’ will start being better than what I consider a ‘good day’ right now.

    Progress, averaged out is what it’s all about.

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