#225 Commitment comes first

ByLukas
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When you decide if you should be chasing this goal, job, relationship, or place to live – in other words, commitment – you choose between action or inaction based on if it’s a viable, worthwhile, realistic goal.

When you decide on the course of action – in other words, how to do something – you’re already committed to action.

Sometimes, the commitment might be too big, too hard, or too disruptive – and that’s perfectly valid.

But here’s what I’ve noticed, my friend: whenever I try to decide on the how before I’ve decided on the commitment, I have even more doubts, and any course of action seems complicated.

I’m curious how you feel about it. We’ll talk more about it in the coming days and weeks.

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    #279 Aligning your beliefs with your innate ability

    ByLukas

    Whether you believe you can write today or not, remember: there’s no physical law, not even a mental barrier stopping you from putting pen to paper or opening your phone or laptop and writing.

    Start like this: “I am writing.”

    Do it now.

    Then keep going.

    See?

    Believe whatever you want. Change your beliefs however often you want. Your innate ability to write is steady.

    And if you know that, why wouldn’t you align your beliefs with your innate ability?

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    #314 You don’t need to see progress every day

    ByLukas

    In the moment, I don’t feel like a yoga pose comes easy to me – until I look back to how it felt 6 months ago.

    In the moment, I don’t really feel like particularly good writer – until I look back on how hard it was to write these daily insights a year ago.

    You don’t need to see progress every single day to know that you’re getting better.

    Because the things that truly matter often change so slowly that you don’t notice them… unless you take the time to reflect on them.

    Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up.

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    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    ByLukas

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

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    #135 Violence in a flower garden

    ByLukas

    It’s easy to be non-violent when you’re in a flower garden

    Josh Waitzkin – The art of learning

    It’s easy to be kind to others when the world has always been kind to you.

    It’s easy to say you want to be a writer when you never really put yourself out there to prove it.

    To learn writing, I must confront the uncomfortable parts of writing – and learn not to respond by running away from it.

    To learn non-violence, I must confront violence – and learn not to respond with violence in return.

    To learn kindness, I must confront being hurt – and learn not to use that as an excuse to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.

    To build trust in myself, I must stay true to my values under difficult conditions.

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    #126 Invisible ink tattooed on your mind

    ByLukas

    Every promise to yourself is a contract in invisible ink.

    Jo Franco on the Not Your Average Jo podcast. I recommend you listen to this episode

    But it’s not because it’s hidden from view that it doesn’t carry any weight.

    Every broken contract with yourself goes on the pile of self-distrust.

    So don’t overextend. Don’t make promises to yourself that you can’t keep anyway.

    Start with a tiny contract with yourself. Then stick to the terms.

    Build trust every day through Tiny Trust Builders.

    Remember that the contract is made, so now is not the time to negotiate.

    Retrace the letters of that invisible contract every single day.

    Then, one day, the invisible ink is tattooed on your mind, and you’ve forged an unbreakable bond between your words and actions.

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