#408 Come what may, you’ll be okay
Come what may, you will be okay.
You can trust yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Then go on with your day.
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#214 Who’s in charge right now?
ByLukasHabit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.
I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.
The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.
The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.
The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.
The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.
So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?
Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?
It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.
And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?
So I invite you to give it a try.
Right here, right now: who’s in charge?
Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.
#29 The myth of self-sabotage
ByLukasAll behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.
So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.
In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.
Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.
Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.
Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).
Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.
If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?
Or even better than just asking: journal about it.
#456 Slow and steady, one day at a time
ByLukasAll bad things happen all at once, and you keep going.
Slow and steady, one day at a time.
Nothing happens, and you keep going.
Slow and steady, one day at a time.
All good things happen all at once, and you keep going.
Slow and steady, one day at a time.
All the good things can’t happen if you don’t keep going when the bad things happen, and if you don’t keep going when nothing happens.
Slow and steady.
One day at a time.
#174 How to turn faith into trust
ByLukasYou build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.
I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.
I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.
But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.
I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.
I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.
There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:
When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.
Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.
#480 You don’t have be hard on yourself today
ByLukasLife could be hard on you today.
But you don’t have to be hard on yourself.
You always could.
Sometimes you should.
But most of the time, you don’t have to.
#322 The naysayer in your head
ByLukasWhenever you set out to establish a new habit, there’s often a nagging thought at the back of your mind wondering, “When will you quit this time?”
But the naysayer in your head that has had free reign for all these years can’t be silenced.
They can only be proven wrong.
“You expect me to quit? Watch me.”
“Say whatever you want; I am showing up today.”
Tiny Trust Builders, day after day, until the naysayer admits, “I was wrong. You’re not that person anymore.”