Victory passes.
So does defeat.
Exhaustion passes.
So does excitement.
And because it all passes, the highest peaks and lowest lows are probably not your most reliable guides to make life decisions.
Take a step back.
Wait until the emotions pass and you see clearly again.
Then you can make choices that stand the test of time.
Following rules just because they’re rules is silly.
Breaking rules just because you like breaking rules is equally silly.
“Life made me who I am, and I can’t do anything about it.”
“While the past has shaped me, the way I choose to live my life today, tomorrow, and every day after, will determine who I am.”
You’re living anyway. Your actions are votes for an identity anyway. So you might as well do it intentionally.
You know I like word games, my friend.
Let’s play with mistakes today.
I don’t like that word—such a negative emotional charge.
And what’s the opposite of a mistake, anyway?
We have a word for doing things wrong, but not for doing things right?
Could we call mistakes lessons?
Bleh, so bland. Heard that a million times before.
What about misguided actions?
Better. Actions that guide me away from my intended outcome. And after a misguided action, I adjust my strategy. I course-correct. Until I get it right and take… guided action?
We’re not there yet. But guided and misguided actions… I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s going in the right direction.
A bit like traction and distraction.
But that’s a word game for another day.
My journey to overcoming self-doubt as a writer:
In short: write and publish to overcome the fear of writing and publishing. Yes, it can be as simple as that.
Overgeneralization: I failed to stick to a new habit once, so I’ll always give up.
Undergeneralization: Even though I’ve been writing consistently for months, I’m still expecting the day I’ll finally give up again.
Both are manifestations of self-sabotage and perpetuations of a negative self-image.
The only way out: don’t focus on habits, focus on Tiny Trust Builders.
Let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.
Let your actions overrule your thoughts.
Let your actions change your identity.
One day at a time.
Who are you trying to convince here?
Is it others, who hold their own perspectives and judgments?
Or is it yourself, wrestling with self-doubt and seeking reassurance?
The only approval you need is your own.
