What am I scared of right now?
What are the chances that that scenario will come true?
What would happen if that scenario came true?
And what would happen then?
And then?
And then?
Is it really that bad?
Do I have the resources to deal with it?
Is this truly a catastrophe, or will I be fine either way?
Keep asking*, “What would happen then?”.* Look past the initial fears and challenges. And more often than not, you’ll realize that this too shall pass.
You know I like word games, my friend.
Let’s play with mistakes today.
I don’t like that word—such a negative emotional charge.
And what’s the opposite of a mistake, anyway?
We have a word for doing things wrong, but not for doing things right?
Could we call mistakes lessons?
Bleh, so bland. Heard that a million times before.
What about misguided actions?
Better. Actions that guide me away from my intended outcome. And after a misguided action, I adjust my strategy. I course-correct. Until I get it right and take… guided action?
We’re not there yet. But guided and misguided actions… I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s going in the right direction.
A bit like traction and distraction.
But that’s a word game for another day.
My actions affect my identity and beliefs.
And my identity and beliefs affect which actions I take.
So, to change, I must consciously take actions that divert from my established identity and beliefs, and do what you believe is impossible for yourself.
Until it’s not impossible anymore.
It’s not an easy road, my friend. It takes courage. Effort. Sometimes pain.
Many times, it’s not worth it.
But sometimes, there’s no other way.
And in those moments, it’s good to know there’s always someone willing to show you a path, paved by Tiny Trust Builders, taking you wherever you want to go.
Since you’re reading my letters, that someone could be me, my friend.
Or anyone else you know.
I guess all I want to say is: you’re not in this alone.
When I write, I write.
When I practice yoga, I practice yoga.
When I talk with friends, I talk with friends.
Or at least, I wish it were like that.
Because you and I both know how distracted the mind can be, my friend.
You don’t even need to meditate to figure that out.
So the mind needs a reminder once in a while.
“What’s truly important right now?”
I’ll be practicing every day.
I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.
I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.
Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”
”But should I care?” I hear you ask.
Well, my friend, that’s a different question.
When the future doesn’t scare you anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”
When daily worries don’t make you go astray anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”
When you put it all into perspective, and you realize, “Hey, I am genuinely okay.”
You know more peaceful days are finally on their way.
First, you write. Then you become a writer.
First, you run. Then you become a runner.
First, you set boundaries. Then you become good at setting boundaries.
But before all that comes the decision to write. To run. To set boundaries.
Because you’re dissatisfied with the past and say never again.
Because you’re filled with excitement about a future vision.
Because you know you’re ready to make the change.
You’ll know when it’s time, my friend.
“Write 3 pages of Stream of Consciousness journaling.”
“Coming up with 100 things to be grateful about.”
“Publish a daily insight.”
My initial reaction, and maybe yours, is, “That’s so much.”
And that’s exactly the point.
It IS a lot.
But actually, it isn’t.
And when you try it out, and see that it isn’t, you’ve shattered the illusion of scarcity and discovered abundance.
Maybe we humans are wired to believe in scarcity and fighting over sparse food.
And while that may serve us well, in many endeavors, there’s much more abundance than we think.
If your gut reaction was, “That’s so much,” I invite you to try it out.
Write down what the voice in your head talks about for 3 entire pages.
Write down 100 things you’re grateful for.
Challenge the scarcity mindset.
There may well be abundance on the other side.
Am I running to get in better shape or to get distracting thoughts out of my head?
Am I going out to enjoy being with friends or to forget my worries?
Am I writing to grow an audience or to process my own emotions?
What am I striving for?
Your answers may vary from day to day. There are no right or wrong answers anyway.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful to understand why you behave the way you do.
Maybe it even makes you curious about why others behave the way they do, too.
One question to make distractions fall away and make the mind turn quiet:
What’s most important right this very second?
Not today. Not this week. Right this very second.
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