Daily Insight

When writing, the most hurtful words enter your head when no words leave your pen.

A blank page is a mirror of our own insecurities, frightening, judgmental…

I found the only way to get through is meeting myself where I am.

Inspired, afraid, angry, frustrated, fearful of poor work, poor words, or no words at all…

This is where the journey starts.

The moment I accept that, I am free again.

This is why I love Stream-Of-Consciousness writing. Whatever state I am in, I transfer the stream of thoughts, the inner dialogue to the page, and see where the flow takes me.

Here’s what I’ve learned: it always takes me somewhere.

And that’s enough to get started.

Because a blank page is also a promise of all my creative potential, waiting to materialize.

And when the words finally emerge
everything flows
and my self-trust grows.

Here’s a question Tim Ferris asks startup founders (and himself) when deciding to invest time and money into a new project:

“If, in one (or two, or three) years from now, this whole project has failed miserably… Which assumptions you hold today were proven wrong?”

Tim Ferris

Answering the question first requires defining failure and success.

For my project of publishing a daily insight on this blog success looks like this:

Write & publish.

Edit.

Write & publish.

Edit.

Then write & publish some more.

Good, bad, well-received or not, received or read by anyone at all, it doesn’t matter.

Because first of all, writing is a creative outlet for me.

Second: long as I write & publish consistently, I trust I will get better at writing and publishing.

Finally: I trust that from all that sculpting away, day by day, will come better and better insights.

A pretty low bar for success – which, counterintuitively, often leads to more progress long-term.

Now we have established that:

What are the assumptions that could be wrong if next year, it turns out I failed to write & publish every day?

Here are some I can think of:

• Writing and publishing every day is going to be a long-term fulfilling activity for me
• I am truly fine with writing and publishing without anyone ever reading it
• I am fine spending considerable time on starting a new project that I might never monetize
• Writing & publishing every day really leads to better writing skills and interesting insights (although even if this assumption is false, it wouldn’t necessarily stop me from writing.)

Will these assumptions be proven wrong?

Only time will tell.

Until then… I write & publish… then write & publish some more.

Almost broke the chain today.

Then I remembered:

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Jim Rohn

Nothing builds more trust than daily practice, back to back.

Today, remembering that is more than enough.

I’m back on track.

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

Admiring (flawed) early work is easy when we already know the late work is going to be great.

Everyone forgives Picasso or Da Vinci for a lousy early sketch. In fact, people pay good money to hang one in their living room.

Maybe the early work, showing that even the greats are mere mortals on a journey towards excellence, is the most valuable?

And yet, it’s much harder to be gentle on a beginning artist for shipping mediocre creative work – not in the least for the beginning artist themselves – when their path to excellence hasn’t unfolded yet.

After all, something that one day will be “my early work” is still “my current best work” today.

The road to excellence is invisible from the trenches.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Which makes me wonder…

When I know that through persistence and daily practice, one day, I’ll look back on today’s creation, smiling, thinking: “Oh how far I’ve come… How much I’ve learned… And some of this was actually pretty good…”

Can I admire my creative work less for what it looks, feels, or sounds like, and more for who I’m becoming through making it?

Can I do the same for the creative projects of others?

With that mindset… How much easier and forgiving would the daily creative journey be?

Does “true purpose” even exist?

And if it does, how do we recognize it?

Persistence despite Resistance may be a helpful indicator.

Are you chasing your dreams because of what society wants you to do?

Or are you chasing them in spite of what society wants you to do?

Because even when social conditioning has molded your mind

if the same desire or vision enters your head, time and again

no matter how many others resist it

no matter how much you resist it

no matter how few people understand

it might be time to embrace who you were always meant to be

and do what you were always meant to do.

As I gain more expertise in a certain field, I expect my posts on that topic to get shorter.

Because raw material starts with a lot of fluff, and only through sculpting away, day by day do I get closer to the essence.

So…

If my posts on a topic I’m familiar with are getting longer on average, I’m off-track.

If they become more abstract, I’m getting off-track.

In other words…

When I don’t yet have so much to say
I can’t stop talking
Until I sculpt away
Realize
Some words matter more than others
And what’s left is
Enough