Giving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.
Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.
Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.
Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.
Walk for 5 minutes today? That’s excellent – because you walked.
Meditated for 1 min? That’s perfect – because you meditated.
Wrote and published a 50-word blog post? That’s enough – because you wrote and published.
You’re allowe dto
Positive reinforcement through Tiny Trust Builders is all you need.
Trying to become good fast makes you impatient. And impatience may well stop you from ever becoming good in the first place.
Because the only way to become good is by understanding that in today’s practice session, you likely won’t be perfect anyway.
That you likely won’t write your most insightful words.
That you likely won’t run an all-time best.
That you’ll likely spend a large part of your yoga session stumbling and losing balance.
When you go into your practice session with that mindset…
Suddenly it makes sense to focus hard on getting that one sentence right.
Now it makes sense to focus on rhythmic breathing while running instead of pushing for a better time.
Now it makes sense to focus on a tiny part of your body during an entire yoga session to train your awareness instead of trying to chase poses because “they look professional.”
Even if there is not much time to “become good,” it still makes sense to assume there is time.
Because that gives you the freedom to focus on the small adjustments that prepare you for when the time comes, and you truly need to perform.
Since I’m always practicing anyway, I don’t have to be good at this today.
The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.
Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.
“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”
The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:
“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”
When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.
When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.
Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.
But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.
Nobody says you have to be a workaholic to be ambitious.
Because ambition means nothing more than having a strong desire to succeed.
You can desire to succeed in getting a promotion, or writing a bestselling book.
Or you can desire to succeed in working only part-time, and spend the rest of the time with your family.
You’re free to decide for yourself what to be ambitious about.
I’ll never believe I can write until I allow myself to write.
I’ll never believe I can grow my body stronger until I allow myself to do do something consistently to grow my body stronger.
I’ll never believe I can mend a mistreated mind until I allow my mind to be mended.
I’ll never believe I can heal a broken heart until I allow myself to start loving again.
You don’t start doing something because you believe you can do it.
You do it because you find leverage to allow yourself to do it, even if it feels outside your comfort zone.
Until here, and no further.
If the storm ChatGPT is causing shows us one thing, it’s how unoriginal most of our thoughts are.
AI builds on a massive library of what others have learned before.
(Individual) humans build on a much smaller library of what others have learned before.
If we merely do what others have done before, in some fields, AI has caught up to us already.
What happens we build on what others have learned before, and combine it with what we learn ourselves (in other words, practice and skill building)?
Now we’re talking about innovation: we’re doing things that haven’t been done before.
And even then, one day, AI will possibly also innovate and do things that haven’t been done before.
Sheer “processing power” is not a game we can win.
The true question here:
If raw intelligence and “brain processing power” isn’t what makes us truly, uniquely human, then what is?
It’s easy to be non-violent when you’re in a flower garden
Josh Waitzkin – The art of learning
It’s easy to be kind to others when the world has always been kind to you.
It’s easy to say you want to be a writer when you never really put yourself out there to prove it.
To learn writing, I must confront the uncomfortable parts of writing – and learn not to respond by running away from it.
To learn non-violence, I must confront violence – and learn not to respond with violence in return.
To learn kindness, I must confront being hurt – and learn not to use that as an excuse to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.
To build trust in myself, I must stay true to my values under difficult conditions.
You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.
But you CAN:
What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?
What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?
What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?
Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.
“Getting better” at something is not a linear process.
You can practice every day and not see any progress.
In fact, you can practice every day and notice deterioration.
But it’s impossible to practice every day without building the self-trust that you have the discipline to practice every day.
I might not have clear proof that I’m becoming a better writer, but I have irrefutable proof that I wrote today, yesterday, and the past 138 days.
And because I write every day, the evidence is building that I am, in fact, a writer.
As my actions shift my identity, the probability that I’ll keep writing increases.
And as long as I keep writing, the probability of writing better work increases.
Tiny Trust Builders are the only reliable proof of progress.
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