#357 Can you be a successful writer without this?
I’ve met many aspiring writers who weren’t writing regularly.
But I’ve never met a successful writer who wasn’t writing regularly.
Or yogis.
Or musicians.
Or athletes.
I’ve met many aspiring writers who weren’t writing regularly.
But I’ve never met a successful writer who wasn’t writing regularly.
Or yogis.
Or musicians.
Or athletes.
Will you ever write that book?
Who knows. We’ll see.
So for now, just focus on who you want to be.
Do that every day, and wherever you end up, is where you’re supposed to be.
The normal want to be special
The special want to be normal
We all want to be what we aren’t
Because if you already are
How can you ever desire?
When you start a new project, excitement eclipses sacrifices.
But when things get serious, you must know what you’re in for.
Your dreams may be worth every sacrifice. But you better know why, before life has passed you by.
Fulfillment doesn’t come from closing the gap between wanting and having.
It comes from closing the gap between wanting and doing.
Want to write a book? Then write every day – even if you don’t have the book yet.
Want to start a successful business? Then start the business – even if you’re not successful yet.
Want to run a marathon? Then run every day – even if you haven’t run a marathon yet.
After all, you might never close the gap between wanting and having.
But the gap between wanting and doing, you can close right this very moment.
If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?
If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?
If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?
There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”
After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.
But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:
Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.
This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.
So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.
Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.
After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?
Skip a day, then start again.
Build self-trust.
Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.
Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.
Most people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.
I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.
But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.
Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.
After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.