#32 Before I learned not to listen

ByLukas
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Before I learned not to listen
I would stand
seemingly still
but secretly swaying
swallowed up by a willow tree
and its play with the wind

Before I learned not to listen
I would hold my head against the rind
reach
reconnect with an old friend
the way it has always felt best
cheek pressed to chest

Before I learned not to listen
a breeze in the leaves
rustling ruminating
would sound like raindrops in my ears
making my eyes answer
with a torrent of tears

Before I learned not to listen
a rolling thunder
thumping like a beating heart
would rumble from my cheek to my ear
replacing my fear
with a memory I used to held dear
we were never really apart

Before I learned not to listen
before the lust for language
reduced what I could see
and sense within
I would allow the whispers of the wordless world
speak to me like kin

Before I learned not to listen
I would accept
that once upon a time
I remembered your name
and once upon a time we both knew
we were one and all the same

Lukas Van Vyve

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    #24 Put your actions where your mouth is

    ByLukas

    Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

    Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

    https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

    Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

    Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

    As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

    And that’s how we get out of a rut.

    (The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

    Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

    1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
      “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
    2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
      “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
    3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
      This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
      So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
    4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

    Which begs the question…

    Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

    Lukas Van Vyve

    Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

  • | |

    #161 It’s not that complicated.

    ByLukas

    If you want to be a writer, write wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a writer and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.

    If you want to be a runner, run wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a runner and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.

    If you want to be there for your family, start being there for them wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a family guy and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.

    Elastic discipline.

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    #287 Why it’s not so hard to be a writer today

    ByLukas

    You don’t have to believe yet you can write, meditate, do yoga every day.

    But nothing stops you from acting as if you already can.

    After all, what would your day look like if you were already able to write every day?

    That’s right. Not so different, apart from the fact that you would write. Today.

    So if you decide to write today, even if it’s just one sentence, you’re acting in the exact same way as a person who already knows they can write every day.

    And if you act the same way… you’re becoming that person**.**

    That’s a lot of words to say… it’s not so hard to be a writer today.

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    #243 Mending the Misunderstanding

    ByLukas

    We all live in a maze of mistranslations and misunderstandings about who we think you are and who others think we are.

    Now, by lack of a way to know who we truly are, misunderstandings can be comforting, my friend; there’s no doubt about that.

    But when you get so lost in the maze that it causes suffering, it might be time to start mending the misunderstandings.

    Could it be that mending is nothing more than making another mistranslation about who we are that makes us happier?

    After all, I can perceive myself as a struggling writer or a skilled wordsmith – both perspectives hold their truths.

    It’s the power of our misunderstandings that molds our reality.

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