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    #210 How do you know you’re reaching your goal?

    I could consider myself a writer if I write 20,000 words a day – and I would be right.

    Or I could consider myself a writer if I write one sentence a day – and I would be right.

    I could consider myself a writer if I’ve written a book – and I would be right.

    Or I could consider myself a writer the moment I’ve decided I’m going to be a writer – and I would be right.

    I could consider myself a writer if I’ve built up enough self-trust and taken enough daily actions that prove that I genuinely care about being a writer – and I would be right.


    Whether you’re aware of them or not, you’re using subjective measuring sticks for everything, usually determined by upbringing, culture, and societal pressure.

    But nothing stops you from consciously choosing your measuring sticks (depending on your goals, you could make them easier or more challenging) and setting yourself up for more fulfillment and success.

    Here are some questions that can help:

    When you say you want to be {successful, happy, fulfilled, fit, wealthy}…

    How do you know you’re reaching your goal?

    Is it an achievement?

    A material possession?

    A feeling?

    An action you take?

    A decision you make?

    Choose wisely.

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    #265 Dance the barbell balance of life

    Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

    It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

    Work hard, rest hard.

    Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

    Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

    So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

    Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

    Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.

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    #85 Habit Containers

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

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    #128 What do you hear?

    Nobody says you should take time every day to disconnect from the world and listen to your stream of consciousness.

    But let’s say you would.

    What do you hear?

    Desires? Fear?

    A blurry memory, now suddenly clear?

    A cry for help to which you’ve turned a deaf ear?

    That fierce inner voice just wants you to be, listen, persevere,
    and tell it

    You’re safe. I hear you. I’m here.


    When you make space to listen to yourself and let solitude soothe you, fear melts away and you might just find something that makes you want to put your heart on the line.

  • #37 The time you’re living anyway

    Question: Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn to play the piano?

    Answer: The same age you will be if you don’t.

    Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

    Some skills take years of practice before I’m any good at them. But I’m living those years anyway. And while society and systemic pressure might push me down a certain path, I still have a say in how I spend every day.

    Whether I publish a blog post today or not, I’ll go to bed tonight and the sun will still come up tomorrow.

    Whether I write every day in the coming 10 years or not, in 10 years I’ll still turn 40.

    The only difference: will I feel that my actions were aligned with who I want to be? Or will I feel regret instead?

    Some aspirations are worth the time you’re living anyway.

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