#228 Battling questions with questions

Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

Pick your freedom battles.

When the future doesn’t scare you anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”

When daily worries don’t make you go astray anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”

When you put it all into perspective, and you realize, “Hey, I am genuinely okay.”

You know more peaceful days are finally on their way.

Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

Work hard, rest hard.

Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.

You’re not defined by the saint you wish to be someday.

Nor by the sinner you used to be back in the day.

You’re defined by the actions you decide to take today.

And tomorrow.

And the day after.

But mainly right now. Today.