You’ll struggle with hardship, until you get used to it.
You revel in good fortune, until you get used to it.
Habituation is how we make it through the hard times.
And habituation is how we stay ambitious when we go through prosperous times.
Back to the baseline we always go.
It’s not possible for you to stop being a writer.
It’s only possible to forget you’re meant to be a writer.
Similary, you’ll never “turn into a writer”.
You reduce resistance until you’ve set free the writer in you.
Goals make you write every day and enjoy the process, even if you’ll never publish a book.
Goals make you practice yoga and get to know your body, even if you’ll never be able to be in that ultimate pose.
Goals makes you help someone and learn to give and contribute, even if your help ultimately doesn’t get them to the place they wanted to go.
Goals don’t predict outcomes. Because the purpose of a goal is not to achieve it, but to set the direction of your life.
It gives you the fuel to start taking action, and the guidance to make sure that action is intentional.
I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s a fulfilling thought.
I can believe I’ve published the perfect insight – until I narrate the podcast version a couple of weeks later and suddenly notice subtle typos and, sometimes, logical flaws. The typos and flaws were always there – but did I make a mistake earlier?
I can believe I’ve nailed this yoga pose – until, during one session, I suddenly sense some tension in my neck I had never noticed before. The tension was always there – did I make a mistake earlier?
I can believe I’ve cooked the perfect dish – until one day, I notice that the sauce tastes even better with a little less salt. But, even before I noticed it, the improvement was always there – did I make a mistake earlier?
Maybe learning is not about errors but about gaining ever more subtle awareness.
If you want to be a writer, write wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a writer and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
If you want to be a runner, run wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a runner and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
If you want to be there for your family, start being there for them wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a family guy and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.
Those who only feel and don’t act
Those who only act and don’t feel
Those who only think and don’t feel
Those who only feel and don’t think
Those who only act and don’t think
Those who only think and don’t act
Those who forget to find balance
Those who remain in doubt
Those are the people who miss out
